I have been a single mom since day one and by day one, I mean from the time I found out that I was pregnant. I never felt sorry for myself and to be very honest, I think I prepared myself for single motherhood long before I ever got pregnant. I knew that I would be a single mother when I was a teenage girl and made the decision to one day be a mother.
Being raised by a single mom, I was taught to be independent and take care of business and that was the example that I saw in my home. I decided probably in my senior year of high school, that I wanted to have 1 son and that I was going to go to a sperm bank. My rationale was that I wouldn’t have to deal with the BS that I assumed, came with men. I received my wish when some 13 years later, I became pregnant with my son.
I guess that it was a surprise that I was pregnant…to some, since I was the last one of my friends to get pregnant. I won’t go into all of the specifics of what happened with my son’s father, but I knew from the words, “I’m pregnant,” that I would be in it by myself. With all that being said, I was up for the job and accepted and owned my situation.
Fast forward to 10 1/2 years later and I’m attending Dr. Seuss night at my son’s school and talking to some of the moms, and there are some new ones who joined the group. How we got on the conversation of marriage, I don’t know but everyone was going around saying how long they have been married and when it was my turn, I proudly say, “I’m not married. I’m a single mom.”
Shocked was the initial look on the faces of the “new moms” that had joined the group, which quickly changed to pity, when one of the mothers said, “I’m sorry.” I had to bite my tongue and hold back what I really wanted to say, which was laced with several expletives and simply said, “Why would you be sorry? No one died!”
The mom who offered her condolences, began to stutter and try to explain how she thought that being a single mom had to be so hard, how she had no idea how I could do it alone and how she made a mental note to make sure to keep her husband away from me because everyone knows that single moms try to get with married men.
Of course, those words never came out of her mouth, but she sure as hell was thinking them. What she actually said was nothing because she was saved by the interruption of her child coming to show her what she had just made but you could have cut the tension with a knife int he group after that.
I guess I said all of that to say this, I make no excuse for being a single mom and I don’t feel bad about my situation. Being a single mom makes me no different from any other mom. I cook, clean, help with homework, kiss boo boos, go to extracurricular activities and love my child to infinity times a zillion just like any mother, except I do everything by myself without the help of a husband. The only difference between the two is that I don’t have a ring on my finger.
For all of you single moms who are feeling some type of way because most of your friends and family members are married and you are the odd woman out, don’t let them get you down and make you feel less than because you are a single mom!
You are more than enough. Stand tall and the next time you are in a group of moms and they ask you about your husband, proudly say, “I am not married. I am a single mom and damn proud!”
Photo Credits: madamenoire.com