Being a single mom is not always peaches and cream, sunny days and birds singing. As easy as some of us may make it look, there are times when we all we want is someone to help us share the load of being a parent, whether it be emotional or financial. We simply just don’t want to do it alone.
When you are a single parent, it is you and only you…at all times. When you are sick and only want to lay in bed or sleep the day away, it’s not going to happen because, there is often times than not, anyone there to allow you to get well while they watch the kids. It can even be as simple as taking a shower when you have a new baby and you are a single mom. All we want sometimes is a moment…it doesn’t even have to be an hour…just a moment.
One day, I had the worse stomach ache and nothing in the house to take for it. I was talking to a friend on the phone, moaning and complaining about my stomach, when they suggested that I go to the store and pick something up. My response was, “I would have to wake up TJ for that and drag him with me.
NOT!!” It was after 9 pm and TJ was sleeping and had school in the morning. My friend responded, “Oh Yeah. I forgot.” Um mm yeah, idiot! I wanted to say out of pain but mostly frustration. I was frustrated because it is times like this that I wish I had a significant other, who could get up and run to the store for me or who could stay at home, while I ran to the store.
Let’s just be honest, sometimes being a single parent SUCKS. For instance, this morning, I felt absolutely awful. I barely went to bed at 3 in the morning, after going back and forth between having chills, then being hot as hell. Topped off by a super runny nose and then I started wheezing. At 6:15, the alarm goes off, and I felt like hell runneth over!
Lord, knows that I didn’t want to get up, throw some clothes on and get TJ up to start getting ready for school. Not only didn’t I want to get up, I surly didn’t want to have to drive him to school. It is days like this, I wish there was someone to say, “Stay in bed, honey. I will take care of everything this morning.”
As a single parent, you are always “ON!” There are no off days. There are no breaks. It is you and only you, 24/7. I don’t have the luxury of weekends and/or holidays off. I am barely where I can enjoy a bubble bath without someone banging on the door (notice I said barely because it still happens sometimes). The only time that I get a break is if my mom or sister takes my son when I have something to do or would like some “adult” time with my friends. Thank God for them, although I don’t call on them very often.
When school is in, I get a break while he is in school. I can have a little quiet time to go to the store alone, take a nap during the day, get a mani or pedi without TJ asking how long is it going to take, etc. However, when school is out for the summer, things can be very hectic.
Being a single mom, is hard work. It is even harder when you don’t have the privilege of joint custody or an ex who will take the kids even when it is not “their time.” What we crave is just someone to be our help mate, our right hand, who is willing to share in the responsibility of being a parent and not just a “part-time parent.” We need help and sometimes we just need a break. I applaud women who are able to yell for “Help” when things become a little cray and maybe sometimes, when it isn’t very crazy but you just want to get away.
For all of you married moms out there that “complain” about how hard you have it, although you have help…take a walk in a single moms shoes for a week. I bet you will appreciate the help that you have and how good you have it.
Photo Credit: fanandfru.com