Reasons Behind Single Mothers
Don’t feel sorry for me, I am not a single mother by chance, but a single mother by choice. An empowering quote for women as proving that women do not need men and that they can able to support and raise their children without any help from men. Yes, it is not an easy choice but because they chose it so they have to stand by it and held responsible for it.
Some women have an intense desire of a single parenting without any complications that a husband could bring. Some of the mothers do not believe that they need a husband or partner to help raise a child.
Death of a Partner
Historically, it is one of the common cause of single mothers. No one is exempted and can’t avoid for this might happen to anyone. Development and good maintenance in maternal care and sanitation have lessened the death for those of reproductive age , making death a less common cause for single mother.
At around the mid- 90’s, there was a significant amount of single mothers raising children with over 7 million single mothers in the United States alone. The chances of having divorce are increasing in the following years. Researched shows that about 69% of children in American living in a household that was a different form than the usual central family.
In the United States, the numbers of unintended pregnancy are increasing among unmarried couples than the married ones. A man may leave the woman as he may want to avoid or get out from a responsibility of bringing up the child.
We all fail, but it is the women who mostly ended up like losing the game. But that is just the first impression that most people see in a relationship without knowing the real fact. If a woman left behind by his partner on her pregnancy until giving birth to the child, doesn’t mean it’s a failure, but instead it’s a gift or reward for you in the end.
In Reality: Being A Single Mother Sometimes Suck!
When you are a single parent, it is only you alone at all times. In reality, sometimes being a single parent really sucks. You have to be always on duty and you can’t have days off nor breaks. It has to be you and only you alone in 24/7 doing all the duties of a mother. But if you can call somebody else like your sister or mother to watch for child if you have something urgent or important to take care of, then you are lucky.
A single mother’s job is really a hard work and it is really even harder without the joint custody’s privilege. We only pray and hope that there will be someone to help us, who can be our right hand, and someone who can really share in the responsibilities of a parent. We badly need help and sometimes we want to shout out for a break. Single mothers face, carry, provide and solve out everything like household chores, all the basic needs, bills, health care, and education.
Anyone can face of the toughest responsibilities of parenthood, that is for sure. It is indeed totally pleasing and beneficial, but we also can’t deny the fact that it is never easy, imagining how hard it can actually get for a single mother alone. Solo parenting is even more challenging, chaotic and most especially it is stressful for single mothers. Nevertheless, you have no other choice once you are in this particular situation, but to be courageous, strong and accept happily the responsibility and just enjoy being a mother.
Whether you are a widow, divorced or a single mother, there are always ways to make your path or journey an enjoyable and a successful one.
- Connecting with your child
Aside from taking care all the responsibilities for your child, a single mother also needs to handle a lot of tasks and decisions all by themselves. Being the head of the household is one of the important roles that you have to maintain and develop every day. In terms of your child’s behavior, either good or bad, you are obliged to answer for it once be called. No parents want to get affected by something that needs to be settled, especially when it’s all about your kids how to be in the future. Do as many ways as you can and as early as possible to connect with your child in all aspects. Having a strong family bonding and routine is a great help, you can all stick to it. Setting a curfew time each night and giving them household chores are the best ways to train them that they can also benefit in the future.
Always give time to help your child with their homework because with that way, you can have the chance to know him more and better. You can also build trust with your child, making them feel that you are also their best friend, openness is a strong foundation of your relationship especially when they are getting younger. Spending quality time with them is so much better, a great to time catching up with each other.
2.) Quit feeling guilty
Time will really come for you to feel guilty about what happened, especially seeing them negatively affected by it. The least you can do for yourself is to quit feeling sorry, guilty or embarrassed. Do not spoil them because of your mistakes but instead let them understand the whole thing that you both are not in the easy part but you can still be happy together by having each other’s hand, love and support.
- Value and take care of yourself, too!
Even if you are the sole provider, you don’t have to forget to take care of yourself also. Give time for caring yourself by attending different kinds of physical activities that you used to do and enjoy before and most especially have some rest and get some sleep as well. You always need to bear in your mind that since it is only you that your child got, the more you have to take care of your physical health, mental and confidentiality.
4.) Never be afraid of asking help
A single mother is like a super hero, but in reality, she’s neither a super woman. There is really time that you will really feel tired, self- pity and depressed, and if that time happens, don’t be shy or feel embarrassed to ask for a help. Always remember that there are also people around you are more than willing to extend their helping hands when you need it the most. There are also organizations or different groups for single mothers having the same situations as you to talk over your pain, hindrances, problems or burdens you are having in your heart. In that way, somehow it lightens your feelings and can start over again to deal with those or any kinds of problems. Be just inspired and get more courage from the different stories from other single mother’s experiences.
Don’t you ever forget that no matter what happens, you still have your family, relatives and good friends supporting you and will help you get through all this and all that people around you aside from your child can be your strength and a good motivation to face, fight and survive for you battle as a single mother.
5.) Be Always Positive
It is normal and there is nothing wrong with the feeling of getting tired and feeling so low, but don’t ever allow that feelings to steal all the best of you. Make your child as the center core so you may keep going for their sake. Single mother’s always look for the brighter side and keep away from all the negativity because they will just drag you down.