Parenting is hard already; let alone if being a single mom. In this situation, it’s easy to think that nothing’s going right and you are in this battle alone. But do not lose hope – there are lots of women going through the same phase as yours right now.
We have talked to bunches of single moms out there. Just so you know, they have survived the chaos. How they did so is compiled on our list below.
Focus on the positive side.
While there are downsides, there is also a bright side to being single parent. One is you don’t have to argue with another parent about decision making. Therefore, you can be more focused on your relationship with your child. Another thing is that you’ll become a stronger person that your child will idolize as they grow older. You might not notice but they appreciate that you look out for their interests and you’re focused on them 24/7.
Take things one step at a time.
If you haven’t delivered yet, focus on your upcoming delivery, caring for the baby, looking for a new job, and a reliable daycare. Fears might overcome your thoughts, but don’t forget about your friends and family
Ask for help when you need to.
Think about the positive people in your life – your best friend, a relative, or your mom. Anyone who can influence your child in a good way. You might be an awesome mom, but you can’t be all things to your child. It’s virtually impossible to do all things by yourself. While they have lost one parent, talking to other people might be a great help. So make sure to take your child to them once in a while – you’ll see it’s worth a try.
Cry yourself out.
Sometimes, crying is all you need to lighten the load on your shoulders. So don’t be shy and cry it all out. There’s no reason to hold in your feelings and stress inside. Once you feel better, put yourself together and say, “I am ready to be a supermom”. Then, move on.
Schedule your “me time”.
All the hassles of being a single mom does not mean you shouldn’t give yourself some time alone. A time when you don’t have to worry over someone or look after them. Great ideas you can try are whole body massage once a week, manicure/pedicure at the salon, or even simple morning jog at the park. These activities will efficiently rejuvenate you emotionally and physically. Skip the guilt when hiring or asking someone to look after the kids – it’s alright to do the things you love once in a while. However, if you can’t really get out, have your kids play together so you can enjoy your favorite cup of coffee while reading a magazine or doing other things that fascinate you – this sure will make you a better mom.
Steer clear of the negativity.
You are all by yourself and there are tons of things to do. However, you should not let the pressure get into you – there is no perfect parent in the world. Even single moms make mistakes. So, spend more time with your child than on house chores or work. Kids are happier when you bond with them more often so forget dish washing or laundry once in a while – if it means more happy time with baby. No one’s going to judge you for leaving the sink or house dirty, anyway.
Getting a new job.
Some single moms get support from the baby’s father. However, if you are experiencing the other way around, don’t fret because there are ways that you can support your child with your own sweat. Use your skills whenever you feel that you’re ready to work again. If you don’t feel skilled enough, consider taking a crash course like computer training or baking. If you can’t leave home because you don’t have a babysitter, the online platform is your friend. Nowadays, there are thousands of online gigs that let you earn by doing computer-related tasks. Based from personal experiences, many moms have had great success in supporting their kids while working at home.
Raise your chin up.
Birth minus the wedlock and divorce are major cause of worry for women with unsuccessful relationships. Prepare yourself for questions and uncomfortable scenarios. Like we’ve mentioned above, it doesn’t help to dwell on the negative side so surround yourself with people that generously lift your spirit and boost your confidence. You can also keep your head high from judgmental people by seeking support from the neighborhood or groups for single moms like you. Socialize with others over a music class or even at the library. Searching the internet for moms going through the same dilemma might be a good outlet as well.