Last Updated on August 1, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
Thinking about your children beginning to date is difficult. However, it’s best to think that they’re just entering a new stage in their emotional and social development. It’s a period of their lives that will bring about life-altering experiences. However, many moms keep asking themselves that at what age should they let their daughter date?
What they do in their first dating relationships will determine who they become. Recognize that this stage is necessary. Children and teens are at different developmental stages. What happens in one stage can have a significant impact on how they will do in the next. My daughters should be as prepared and equipped as possible for the next stage of their lives, which is dating.
What Age Should I Let My Daughter Date?
This is a difficult question to answer, however, this article can provide you when you should NOT let your children date yet. You can’t let your child date yet if they can’t do the following:
Articulate To You A Good Purpose For Dating
Let’s be realistic, all your child wants is to have fun and have someone to talk to who is as interested as he/she is about each other. But before letting him/her go on that date, he/she needs to know why he/she is interested in dating.
There’s no single right answer to the question “Why are you interested in dating?” but your teens and you, the parents should have conversations about the positive reasons of dating to make them aware. Talking about dating as parent and child would provide the following:
- Know more about the type of person your child would like to marry/to be with
- Help for your child to become the person they want to be
- Healthy social skills are more than friendship
Grasp That Their Value Doesn’t Come From Whether Or Who They Date
It’s necessary for your children to understand that having a romantic partner doesn’t make them better people. Without a boyfriend/girlfriend, they aren’t “not enough”. You don’t need a partner to feel accepted by your friends, regardless of what others might think. They should develop self-confidence and establish a solid identity that transcends their relationship life.
This knowledge can help teens avoid dating problems as teenagers. Research shows that teens with a healthy level of self-efficacy or self-assurance are less likely to engage in dating violence, drink on dates or succumb to sexual pressures.
Communicate With You, Their Parent, If Something Is Wrong
Your kids will go through heartbreak, pressures and temptation when they start dating. They are going through the mental, emotional and spiritual gymnastics of development. They will reach a point in their development when they feel stuck or need to hear wisdom.
Your children need to know that they can always call you when they’re in trouble and you will be there to help them. They should feel safe to share what they feel in a relationship. This is possible, despite popular belief.
Separate Their Dating Life From Their Compassion For Others
Your children can be very compassionate and would gladly do anything to help someone in need. However there are relationships where one person is unable to help another with a particular issue. This creates the risk that the relationship might end in a tumultuous way if it is broken up. This is called “martyr-dating” and it is not healthy. Your children need to know that dating is not the best way to solve problems. It’s important to let them know that a relationship is not a coping mechanism for issues. Bad things can happen when “other person” becomes the emotional crutch.
Final Reminder about What Age Should I Let My Daughter Date?
If you waited until your children had developed enough to allow them to date, then they might be living in your home for a very long time. They won’t be able to do it all in their teens. The goal is to get to know your children well enough to be able to tell them that they are on the right track to these developmental traits.
These lessons are learned long before teens reach the age of dating. They begin with a close and connected relationship between parents and children. These ideas should be discussed with children by parents who need to be present. Children can build self-confidence by trusting their parents to help them with problems. Teens can have regular conversations to help them cope with anxiety and other emotional problems. It also helps teens understand the purpose of dating.
There is no magic age that a child should be allowed or required to have. It all depends on the child’s thinking and developmental stage.
One thing is certain: Parents need to be a student of their children, learning more about their thinking and feelings, and getting a better understanding of their developmental path. As parents, this is the best way to prepare your children for a happy and fulfilling relationship.