Last Updated on July 1, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
The number one of the single mom struggles is that we have to face becoming a husband and a wife simultaneously.
As the sole provider of your family, you may face a lot of new and hard realities. These challenges may involve your emotions or your capacity to provide for your family’s needs. While these struggles may appear intolerable, there are always ways to cope with them.
There’s always a way to look on the bright side, to let the positivity in, and kick the negativity to the curb. We all need a change of perspective from time to time. Below are the most common single motherhood problems and how to cope with them.
Single Mom Struggles – How to Cope
Dealing with heartache and emotional struggles.
After a divorce, or perhaps after the death of a spouse, one of the first single mom struggles is the emotional impact of a new life. Most likely, this is the first challenge they have to face.
You might feel like they are left alone, and there is no one to turn to for comfort. You have no choice but to embrace the responsibility of solely taking care of your children and providing for their needs.
Having no support, you have to work eight days a week, making you feel exhausted and stressed.
As though this is not enough pressure, you also have to decide for yourself and your children alone. Even the smallest things – like what kinds of furniture to buy or what school should you send your kids – can make you very confused and anxious. If the decisions you make went wrong, there is no one to blame but you.
Becoming a single mother also results in self-doubt. You don’t know if you are doing the right thing, as you have no spouse to affirm your actions or disagree with your decisions, and doing it all alone is not that easy.
These challenges, however, do not necessarily mean that you can’t ask anyone for help. Your husband may not be around anymore, but your friends or your family can always lend a hand for support. Coping up with emotional problems cannot usually be done alone. If you don’t open up, you are never going to heal.
Most of the time, you need someone to talk to or ask for advice. People who understand your situation will be very willing to listen to you and engage in an adult conversation. Talking reduces the emotional stress brought by single parenting.
The need for financial support.
As a single mother, you don’t have to deal only with emotional problems. Being the sole head of the family, you may also struggle financially. You have to shoulder all the expenses: from your everyday needs to your kids’ education.
These responsibilities mean that you have to work harder than usual, which would give you even more stress.
You feel pressured to give your children a better future, so you have no other option but to exhaust all means of getting enough finances.
However, there are instances when you feel like you cannot do anything to help your situation but quit.
During these moments, you have to remember that your children are counting on you, and giving up would not solve anything. It is essential to know that you are never alone with your challenges. Aside from your family and friends, some organizations would help you financially.
You can apply for concessions, and all it takes is your determination. Some grants can support you and your children, as well as their education. There are also emergency housing assistance for single mothers if you have a hard time providing shelter for you and your children.
Taking care of your children
Raising a child is typically a responsibility shared by two couples. Even in this kind of set-up, taking care of a child is difficult. How much more taking care of a child alone?
To start with, you have to set rules for your children. It is a challenge for you to keep these rules followed and ensure that they are not too limiting. As previously mentioned, making the decision lies solely on you, so you would usually feel pressured to make the most useful rules.
Because you also have to do extra work to provide for your family’s needs, it would also be hard for you to look after them always. Managing your time is one of the most difficult single mom struggles. You would feel like you have the most hectic schedule than any mothers in the world, and you might get too engrossed with the work that you forget about your children.
Also, if your kids got used to living with you and your spouse, it would be difficult for them to adjust. There might be instances when they would “rebel” or feel incomplete. It is a challenge for you to make them feel special and loved.
The best way to address these issues is to talk to your children. Tell them why you are imposing specific rules, describe to them what would possibly happen if they violate these rules, and make them understand the importance of being a responsible child. Communication will result in more effective household management and help them grow.
Taking care of yourself
Becoming a single mother might make you feel socially isolated. You work all day, inside and outside your home, you have to look after your kids, you have to think about paying all your bills that sometimes you don’t even have time for yourself.
However, you can always look for venues when you could both have time for yourself and make sure that your kids are entertained or occupied. You can exercise in a gym with kids’ space, for example. You can also hire a trusted babysitter once a month if you want to go out with your friends. Self-care is one of the best stress relievers you could get.