Last Updated on November 28, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
What exactly is a female-led relationship? Is it just a relationship where the woman is the one wearing the pants? This article will explain how to communicate with your partner and work together towards the common goal of building happiness and love.
Understanding Female-Led Relationships (FLR)
A lot of confusion surrounds what constitutes a female-led relationship (or FLR). This is due to the fact that there are many types of FLRs, with different dynamics. It is important to understand what a female-led relationship is not, and how it differs from the traditional male-led relationship.
The Male-Led Relationship
Traditional male-led relationships are those in which the man is the breadwinner and provider of the relationship. This type of relationship is what we have been most familiar with in history, both modern and ancient.
The man provides the means of survival for the women and children by either hunting, fighting or just having a job. The mother stays at home and cares for the children. She also cleans and cooks meals for her family.
Although there have been instances of relationships that didn’t follow these standards, most man-woman relationships in history were led by the man.
The Female-Led Relationship
Below are the types of relationships we have described. In summary, a female-led marriage can be one where both the man and woman share the chores and responsibilities equally. Or it could be one where the man does what their partner tells him to do.
If the relationship between the man or woman is not in line with the traditional notions of what a man and woman should do, it may be considered to be a female-led one. The gains made by women over the past few decades can be viewed as an extension or result of female-led relationships.
These victories, including the right to vote, equality in the workplace, education rights and the right for equal wages, have all contributed to the acceptance and shift towards female-led relationships.
These changes have empowered women over the years, making them question traditional gender roles in a relationship. They have also allowed men the opportunity to question their supposed superiority or inherent dominance over women.
Comparing Male-Led Relationships to Female-Led Relationships
Male-Led Relationships Means That The Man…
- Is the sole provider and breadwinner
- Is not expected to have the same level of connection with his children than the mother
- works all day which means all chores are expected to be done by the mother
- Is the ultimate authority of the household
Female-Led Relationships Means Both Partners…
- Have equal work opportunities
- Share chores and responsibilities
- Considers each others’ thoughts and feelings
Why People Seek Out Female-Led Relationships
You might not even know it but you could be in a relationship that is female-led. What is it that draws attention to female-led relationships? These types of relationships are why people want them.
The Advantages For Women
A female-led relationship is a better option for women than a male-led one. For centuries, women have been treated unfairly in male-led relationships. These traditional relationships denied them equal participation in the partnership.
- Women want to be able to make decisions about their household and family and have fair representation
- The expectation that the man will make all decisions and exercise authority alone means that there is less power struggle between man and woman. This makes it easier for the woman and her partner to be at ease and at peace.
- Because he treats her with the respect and care she deserves, a woman may end up loving her husband more than she thought possible.
- Some women love the ability to manage every aspect of their relationship from the kitchen to the raising of children to financial management.
- Women may want to be able to change their man, forcing them to let go of bad habits and making them better partners.
The Advantages For Men
A FLR is a great option for women. However, many people wonder why men prefer this type of relationship. Traditional relationships give men all power and authority over their partners, so why shouldn’t they resist these changes in dynamics.
- Some men do not like the pressure of having to make difficult decisions alone. This allows men to be more relaxed with their partner by letting go of authority
- Men now appreciate and understand their partner’s worth more than ever before, unlike previous generations. Men see their partners as equals, rather than less than them. This gives rise to the natural feeling that they are entitled to equal participation in the relationship.
- Some men might prefer to be the breadwinner because of their personal preferences or personality. Some men prefer to take on the traditional feminine role of caring for the family, cooking and cleaning. These men would be happy to partner with women who can do the same.
- Female-led relationships are less stressful because both partners have at least equal input in major decisions. This leads to a happier life for the man.
Overall Benefits of Female-Led Relationships
Although there are some advantages that are exclusive to women in female-led relationships, both men and women can still benefit from them. Both partners can also enjoy the overall benefits of these types of relationships.
Transparency and honesty are the cornerstones of female-led relationships. These relationships require both partners to be open-minded and willing to adjust to each other’s needs. Traditional relationships are rigid and do not allow for growth and evolution. Female-led relationships, on the other hand, allow both partners to express their needs and desires.
If one person is the sole decision-maker in a relationship, it can lead to toxic and unhealthy dynamics in which the person neglects to prioritize the happiness and well-being of others.
Traditional male-led relationships can fall into the trap of the man becoming so focused on himself that they make poor and destructive decisions for their family. A relationship that is based on discussion and communication will result in better decisions for the whole family.
Less Pressure on Defined Roles
There are two archetypes of the traditional man archetype: masculine, strong and emotionally withdrawn. The traditional woman archetype is timid, family-first and caring. These traditional roles are problematic because we may not always fit in and can feel pressured into being people we aren’t.
Female-led relationships enable people to play the roles that they were born to, such as a man cooking dinner and raising children or a woman being the breadwinner.
Sex, which is one of the most important aspects of a relationship and a guarantee for improvement in a female-led relationship, is also guaranteed to improve. The woman feels empowered, respected, and the husband has a better appreciation for his partner’s worth and value.
Combining both of these will result in each partner wanting their partner more. This will make sex more enjoyable for both partners.
4 Types of Female-Led Relationships
There are many different types of female-led relationships. Male-led relationships are usually grouped into one type, where the man holds most of the authority and power. However, female-led relationships range from mild to severe.
Lower Level FLR
It’s difficult to label a lower-level female-led relationship “female led” because it doesn’t necessarily involve a woman leading the relationship. The FLR at the lower levels describes a relationship where the man and woman are almost equal.
The merits of each partner’s arguments are considered. Before any decision can be made, there must be mutual consent. These relationships are not for women who think they have power over their partner, or that they can make their own decisions.
Moderate Level FLR
The moderate level FLR is the next level. In this level, the woman may have some authority over her man, but she may not always be able to exercise it. A lower-level FLR is more mentally stable than a moderate FLR. In a lower FLR, the woman is aware that she has an equal voice but is not in the same place as her partner.
A moderate FLR means that the woman believes she has more control over certain parts of the relationship than she does others, even though she may not act upon it. Although it may seem like a minor difference, this can make a huge impact on the woman’s self-worth, self-confidence and overall happiness in the relationship..
Higher Level FLR
A relationship at the higher level FLR means that it is established that the woman is the authority figure. This type of relationship can be best understood by comparing it with the typical male-led relationship. Switching the gender roles will allow you to see how the women become the head of the household and the authority figure in the home.
The income of the family is mainly dependent on the women, while the men focus on maintaining the house’s wellbeing, cleaning up, cooking and general household maintenance. The dominant female force in the bedroom may be the woman. The man usually has a normal and happy relationship with his partner, aside from the “female” responsibilities of child care and home.
The extreme FLR type is the best example of female authority in a male-led relationship. This FLR is where the woman assumes the absolute authority of the man, making all decisions and controlling every aspect in his life.
The woman expects the best from her partner and should be willing to do whatever she asks. Extreme FLRs are dysfunctional relationships. This is because they can be more sexually driven than any other. Extreme FLRs are characterized by a specific personality type: a woman who feels the need to be in control and powerful, and a man who is subservient and submissive.
Ways A Female-Led Relationship Can Go Wrong
We’ve already discussed the benefits and advantages of a female-led relationship. However, FLRs can sometimes not be ideal for both parties. Sometimes, one partner might try to force a relationship that the other is not comfortable with. This could lead to a premature end of the relationship. These are just a few ways FLRs can go sour:
The Man Just Might Not Like It
Expectation: Two people meet and start dating and fall in love.
The woman wants to create a foundation for a female-led relationship, while the man will happily say yes to satisfy his partner. They both play their roles well and live happily ever after.
Reality: Although a man may initially agree with what a woman wants, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he will be happy with it.
A woman might be more progressive and liberal than her male partner and may have different expectations about what a man should do. FLRs are problematic because men are programmed by nature to provide for their partners. They must overcome feelings of inadequacy or worthlessness if they don’t provide in the way they were taught.
To adjust to a woman, a significant amount of growth is needed from the man. However, the woman should also attempt to find the middle.
Society Might Judge You
Expectation: A female-led relationship is formed between two people. The traditional gender roles of breadwinner and caretaker are reversed.
Everybody around you, your family, friends and even strangers on street, is simply happy that it’s you who are happy.
Reality: Even though you and your partner have achieved the ideal balance to maximize your happiness within a female-led relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone will be equally accepting.
Both partners will feel pressured by others. The man will feel less manly because he’s not the main breadwinner and the woman will feel guilty for not being home with the children. Both of you will have to question your decisions and decide if you are doing the right thing for your children as well.
Although this can be difficult to resolve, it is the most important test of your relationship. You can ignore the expectations of others and be open to the possibility of long-term happiness together.
You Might End Up Mothering Your Partner
Expectation: A woman may seek a FLR of moderate, high, or extreme levels. This means that you are more powerful than your man and regularly exercise it.
You desire to be in control of many aspects of your partner’s family life.
Reality: There are situations in which the FLR man ends up losing most of his power and authority, in which case the woman is the one who has the most power.
Instead of being the man who works to your satisfaction, he becomes a former version of himself, redefining both his role as your son as well as yours as his mother. You would be a mother to certain personality types if you took all authority and power from your male partner. All romantic and sexual desires would soon fall off the cliff and there may not be a way back.
Making a Female-Led Relationship Work
Maintaining the happiness and cooperation in a female-led relationship is not as easy as a traditional male-led one. These are the essential guidelines that you and your partner should follow.
- You must be transparent and honest with your partner. This will allow them to adjust as necessary and you will feel heard.
- Understanding Your Roles and Lines. Happiness requires that both partners feel comfortable with their setup. Both you and your partner must be able to accept and understand each other’s expectations and roles.
- Reexamine Your Situation Periodically. You may not always know the right thing, nor will your partner. You should meet up with your partner for an honest, open discussion about your happiness and comfort every so often.
- Do not judge anyone else: Let other people’s opinions and feelings determine how you feel about each other. Your happiness is yours. You can do what you want, as long as your partner is satisfied.
- Never forget the love: FLRs often get caught up in the trap of focusing more on their roles than what they are doing for one another. Always put love first.
- Beware of abuse: No matter the type of relationship, abuse is always a danger. You must ensure that you are not making a negative use of the power that you have granted each other.