Last Updated on November 24, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
For women, midlife often looks more liberating. Children are either grown up or almost grown. She may have a high-ranking position or she could be passing the torch to free up her time for other things. Her body is changing and maturing, in ways that our sexist, aged society disapproves. But she doesn’t care about others’ opinions – which for many women is the greatest liberation. What can you do when one spouse feels like it’s going to be a seed and the other is just about to blossom into a beautiful flower? Is it possible to see the future differently and end up in a marriage that is not working out? Is there a way to avoid gray divorce regrets?
Plan Your Future Destination To Avoid Gray Divorce Regrets
Combine dissatisfaction with a sense of urgency and you’ve got a recipe for throwing babies in the bathwater, and then deciding that it’s time to remodel or sell the upstairs bathroom and move to Tahiti.
In a midlife crisis during menopause, big impulsive decisions may be made. After all, you only have so much time to accomplish all your goals. If you feel that someone (or something) is holding you back from living the life you want, it’s time to let go and move on!
However, making rash decisions can lead to lasting regret and cause lasting damage, which we call the gray divorce regrets. It could make the difference between dancing to the music or facing it. You might find it helpful to consider all possible futures as potential travel destinations. What can you do to plan for the journey that will be the rest of your life?
Decide on Where You Want To Be
What are you looking for in a journey? Excited and adventurous? Relaxation, comfort, predictability, and ease? Remember that this is not two weeks in Prague. This is your entire life. You have plenty of time to explore. You may face risk and adventure now, but you will be able to return to your familiar surroundings in the future. Future choices don’t have to be cut off by your decisions.
Choose Someone Who Will Go Through The Journey With You
Ask yourself these questions: What are you looking for in a travel partner? You need someone to walk with you step by step and be as excited to embark on your next adventure as you. You might also need someone to talk to about your menopause stories , and provide a safe, familiar harbour. It is possible that the travel companion you are looking for is already there. If not, you might be better equipped to find the right one or decide to do it all alone.
Don’t Forget the Baggage
All of us carry a lot more emotional and spiritual weight around. This can lead to dissatisfaction with our partners and feelings of not being accomplished. Are you really being held back by that person? A re-evaluation might be necessary if this is the case. If the baggage is yours, you need to be careful not to jettison your best friend and support system.
Know the weather at your destination
If you have been together for a while, your lives can become complicated. You may lose friends, in-laws, or be unable to communicate with your children. It is possible to lose access or be excluded from meaningful events and places. You may feel lonely and cold at first.
What Should You Do Now To Avoid Gray Divorce Regrets?
It can be overwhelming to feel the urge to run, wind in your hair and bridges alight ahead of you. But you owe this to yourself and to those who have shared their lives with you.
Your partner, male or female, may be seeing the future differently from you. They might not even realize the difference in your expectations. The two of you envision your future together, with sports teams and matching recliners, but the other person is thinking about signing up for Japanese lessons and scuba diving lessons. Are they really compatible? It is possible to have it all with some negotiation and compromise.
Respect your partner and yourself by having the conversation. So, be kind, be open, be honest. While it might not save a marriage that is truly past its expiration date but it could help to preserve a relationship that has meant a lot over time.
