Last Updated on August 17, 2023 by Lori Pace
“I hate being a single mom!”. We have heard this sentence so many times!
So, what can you do if you don’t like being a single mother? You don’t have to hate your children, but you do have the right to hate your situation. It’s because humans weren’t meant to raise a human alone. You’ll need support, and you can’t possibly raise a child alone and go to work to make ends meet.
Many women choose to raise their children alone, and it’s great that this choice exists. However, if you entered parenthood with a partner, and had no choice but to continue doing so without one, is a difficult experience as well. You may have family and friends, but they aren’t there every day. The person you thought was there for every moment, good or bad, isn’t there anymore.
It’s Difficult To Raise Children By Yourself
Sometimes, when you’re alone or on the verge of taking a rest, you can’t stop but think about all these questions in your head. These questions that shouldn’t even be asked and would only bring your spirits down. It makes you think “I hate being a single mom”.
- Perhaps I shouldn’t be a mom?
- Am I a bad mom?
- Is there anyone else who feels this guilt?
It is one of the most challenging things you can do. It’s easy to get lost in your little world and not see the bigger picture. You forget what day it is. You often feel like you are living in Groundhog Day, but the truth is that the time goes by so fast it causes your head to spin. Part of you might want your ex or partner there.
All the other illnesses and sleepless nights are yours. Sometimes, you might not want to be hugged and kissed. You don’t want to be touched or heard “MOMMY!” every two seconds. You would like to experience what it is like to take a bath without worrying about whether you are hearing real or phantom cry. It would be great to experience what it is like to eat a meal without having to get up eight times to get water, napkins or food that fell.
Because you are so attentive to every noise of the night, you want to understand what it feels like to sleep soundly and go to bed. You may feel like you want to sleep because you have had a long day or run out of energy. You can’t do that because one or more children need you or are sick or can’t sleep. It takes all your strength not to lose your mind. So, get to know some tips to live well as a single parent!
Jealousy Often Succumbs
It’s hard to imagine what it must be like for friends with partners who stay home each night and help with the dinner, baths and bedtime routines. It’s easy to imagine your family spending every weekend together like your friends. Imagine what it would be like to have someone to help you.
It is possible to feel jealous, and then feel guilty about it. You may feel anxious about packing your children and taking them on shopping trips. It would have been easier to leave them with your partner. But what if you are a single person? This is possible without even blinking an eye. You wonder if it would be different if you could do errands and not have to bring your children.
Your budget is so tight that you wish you could get your children involved in more activities. You feel guilty and wonder if your children are receiving enough enrichment. They can’t learn that much if you are so scattered that you don’t have the time to give them the attention they need.
Burnout
This constant state of burnout is common for you. You feel more on edge and end up shouting more than you would like. Feeling guilty that you can’t play all the games or do every craft with the kids.
You start to wonder if you’d be a better mom if there was a partner. If you could just find a few hours each night to give the kids to another person, you might feel more relaxed. You might be less edgy if you had someone to vent to or to be with your kids, You won’t know what kind of mother you would be if there was a partner. All you have are yourself and your children.
You will experience the highest and lowest of highs in this world. This world is only possible because of you. Sometimes single motherhood can be hard. Your friends and family may not understand your feelings. But a lot of people feel the same, and they understand what you feel. You’re not the only one.
Don’t Worry
Tiredness is a familiar feeling amongst parents and more common for someone doing it alone. You’re not doing less for your children, and you’re doing great. It may be difficult to avoid listening to the thoughts in your head that say that you’re not doing things right. However, it would help if you never forgot that you’re doing an excellent job as a parent. Also, try not to teach yourself how you hate being a single mom.
There is always help around you, financially, and mentally! So reach out when you are in need.
Having the courage and strength to go head-on through a difficult day is challenging. But you do it, even if it’s hard. You do it for yourself and your children, who love you and appreciate you for your hard work. Continue on! And stay strong; you’re not alone.
