Last Updated on January 25, 2024 by Lori Pace
There is no perfect mother. Perfect is to be perfect in every aspect and demonstrate exceptional skills. You can stop striving to improve or grow when you are perfect. Letting our knee-jerk perfectionism win and try to be perfect, only puts your children down. Why? Mothers do this because they show their children through their actions and beliefs that anything less is unacceptable.
Children learn from our example and growing up is not easy. It’s also about making mistakes and learning from them. Mothers also grow up as children, learning wisdom and experience along with making mistakes and succeeding.
Give Your Kids 15 Minutes | How To Be A Good Mother
It is advised that you should disconnect from your daily tasks twice a day and enter their world without distractions. Play with them and have fun talking to them. This will increase your emotional connection and encourage positive attention.
Praise the Positives
Having a negative bias makes it easy to feel like your children are a disaster. You can even tell your children the things you appreciate about them each night as they go to bed. It is important to be specific, you could also say, “I noticed that you helped your brother locate his shoes this morning while he was running behind. That was truly kind.”.
Find The Experts in Your Life
Sometimes the key to success is being able to recognize what you don’t know. An expert could be someone you don’t know, or a stranger in a Facebook group for mothers. It could be your mother who has plenty of good advice. You don’t have to know everything. There are many people who will gladly help you if you ask. The best moms are those who are aware that they’re not perfect but ask for help to improve.
Talk About The Tough Stuff | How To Be A Good Mother
Money and sex are two of the most important. Normalizing sex and waiting for a special occasion in the future are both crucial. When is the best time to bring this up? It’s better to start sooner than you think. Start when they’re young. Four-year-olds will listen and learn from you, whereas four-year olds will be more open to your suggestions.
Money is just as important as sex. Children need to learn about it from an early age. These are vital life skills that must be learned as soon as possible. Money management, goal setting, and understanding charity are all important.
Create Traditions
Time passes without a doubt, but moments can be made even more special when they are made traditions. You can have small or large traditions, but it is important to keep them up. Establish a daily routine for your family. This could include a bedtime ritual or family dinners. A weekly tradition might be French Toast Fridays or family game nights. An annual tradition could include a Thanksgiving soup kitchen or family fun runs on New Year’s Day.
Be Confident Because You are A Good Mother
Parents who are doubtful will have trouble teaching their children confidence. Even if you have insecurities, keep them from talking to your children. Keep your self-doubt private! Your children will suffer if you constantly make negative comments and berate yourself. Encourage them to be their best selves and show them how you feel.
Stop Multitasking
Moms are often proud of their ability to multitask but it’s best to stop multitasking. Multitasking is exhausting, and moms feel like they aren’t doing one thing very well. Start time blocking instead. You can block out time for each activity. Playtime with your children is the best thing. Be present and focused, and you will enjoy the moment.
Exercise | How To Be A Good Mother
It’s important to move and get fresh air. You cannot take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself.” It might be a run with a friend, or a walk together. Find what works best for you. This will reduce anger, resentment and frustration.
Take Care of Yourself | How To Be A Good Mother
Think about the oxygen mask principle: First, put yours on, then you can help them. Mothers tend to prioritize the needs of others, which can lead to family dysfunction. Your kids will benefit if you make it a priority to have some “me” time.
Put Your Phone Down
You will have so much more fun together and you will show your child what you already know: that you enjoy being with them.” Tesse Struve is the founder of Millennial Mom Coaching. Your child will enjoy you being there with them, and it will make you both have more fun.
Prioritize Your Partner | How To Be A Good Mother
While some moms think the children should always be first, experts agree that it is your partner who should take that position. After taking care of yourself, you must nourish your partnership relationship, if you have one.
It is simple logic: When you take care of yourself, then you can bring your best selves into your partnership. Then, you fill up on your relationship and then, you bring two happy parents to this parenting table. It all works because the parents are the core of the family. If Mom and Dad are happy, the children are happy. They have two parents to take care of their needs.
Have Your Kids’ Back
Show your child that you are there for them, no matter what. Gale states, “I have also found that being an advocate for my child has brought us closer together.” I’ll often show up at school with forgotten items, help my son type papers, or bring them surprise snacks when they are studying or reading. They always have my back, and I love reminding them.
Don’t Use Labels | How To Be A Good Mother
Using labels such as “good girl” or “good boy”, it often means that our child will follow our wishes. These phrases can be harmless but it can cause serious damage. While it is important to teach children respect and follow instructions, just because a child wants to play and leaves the house doesn’t make them ‘bad’. What happens when we don’t use these labels? Does this mean that children aren’t being ‘good?
If your child cleans up their room, you can say “great job organizing your space” instead of “you’re a great girl for cleaning it.”
Be Their Mom
While it’s tempting to pretend to be a cool mom, there is a fine line between being a good mother and being inappropriate. Children have many friends, but only one mom. They need structure and boundaries. It is not a good idea to befriend your children.
Hit Pause | How To Be A Good Mother
Sometimes it can be overwhelming and your child throws a temper tantrum. As a mom, it is important to remain calm and rational in any situation. If your kids lose their trust in you, you will only make matters worse. You can take a few deep breaths, then collect your thoughts. Or, you can turn around and shut your eyes for a while. Once your initial anger or frustration has subsided a little, you can then calmly approach the situation in a more rational manner.
Listen Closely
Listen and really listen to what your children are saying. Pay attention to their body language. Do not interrupt. Instead, respond to their message based on what you have to say. This will make you more connected and will help them appreciate your input.
Let Your Kids Have Feelings | How To Be A Good Mother
Don’t tell your children that something isn’t important when it is. Children feel validated when their feelings are acknowledged. They learn to accept their emotions. Instead of trying to resolve the situation, teach your child coping and problem solving skills that will help them in the future.
Model Behaviors You Want to See
Many parents think they are selfish for taking time for themselves. Your children will learn boundaries by taking time for themselves and modeling the importance of me time. This will make you and your children happier.
Allow Yourself to Have a Life Outside of Your Kids
Quality time is important but so is the development of a healthy support system for parents. Each parent should have friends to talk with, to laugh with, and to discuss personal issues. Friendships help us to keep our eyes on the bigger picture, so we don’t become too focused on our children.
