Last Updated on December 17, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
Are you ever accused of being emotionally unavailable? This is one of the most common problems couples have to deal with. Emotionally unavailable is an outcome of life experiences. When people feel insecure and fear that they don’t get love, their instincts will tell them that eventually their partner will find out all about them and realize that they’re not worthy of their partner’s love. So, how to be emotionally available in your relationship? Or even in life with your friends, and loved ones!
What Does True Security In A Relationship Require?
It is the ability to rely on your partner, but also to be able to take responsibility for your actions. As equals, to take on the responsibility for your own part of the relationship. It is the ability to listen to your partner’s feelings and needs, while also working together to meet your own needs.
People who are emotionally unavailable don’t like to hear what their partner feels or thinks if it isn’t what they want. It can be emotionally expensive for a partner to say something that they don’t like. They beat their partner emotionally into submission. They make their partner feel obligated and crazy.
People who are emotionally unavailable do this because they feel empty. They may also afraid of commitment (relationship or love). They are focused on their own interests and needs. These people feel they are not able to dedicate time and effort to the needs of their partner. They find the partner’s needs overwhelming.
It is clear that an emotionally unavailable partner has many internal battles. This is why they are unable to support their partner when they need it. These same inner battles could be causing you to become emotionally unavailable. These internal battles can lead to a breakdown in your relationship. If you feel like this, then you won’t want me to stop you from hearing what I have to say next.
Effective Tips For Being More Emotionally Available
Look at Your Beliefs in Yourself and in a Relationship.
Find out why you don’t feel worthy to be in a loving, close relationship. Is it possible to question your belief that your partner will reject you if they get to know you well? Are there ways you can both discover why you are worthy of your partner?
Be Sensitive to the Needs and Feelings of Your Partner
This requires empathy and compassion to understand your partner’s needs and feelings. You’ll have to be vocal about asking them about what they need and what they feel. It’s also important to have patience because you’ll have to understand that it may be hard for them to open up to you.
Quit Being Secretive to Be More Emotionally Available
Many partners who are emotionally unavailable have a secret life, which is a plan to protect themselves in case the relationship falls apart. Because rejection is inevitable, they may have someone to lean on. It is possible to keep the relationship safe by sharing a secret life with other people.
You cannot afford to keep your secret life secret or have a sidekick in your relationship. You must be completely transparent. To erase any feelings of mistrust or betrayal, you may need to give access to your computer and text records. It is important to not keep secrets. However, it is also a vulnerable area that will allow you to invest in your relationship and receive the returns you so deeply desire.
Allot Time For Your Partner
Your partner and children should be at the top of your priority lists. This can be done by your actions and not your words. Although words may seem comforting to your partner they will not be able to follow through if you don’t take action. You must be available and accessible most of the time to make time for your partner.
Avoidants often ignore phone calls and text messages, and only reply when they wish. They are focused only on their own needs which makes them even more dependent on their partner. You can give your partner the assurance that you are there for him/her, and they will be more focused on the relationship.
Take Responsibility for Your Emotions to Be Emotionally Available
You must learn to control your temper. Don’t be hurtful or mean-spirited. You are an emotionally unavailable person who is skilled at finding weaknesses in others and exploiting them to get the distance you desire.
Don’t threaten to end the relationship if things don’t go your way. Instead, stop using anger or personal attacks to bully your partner to do things your way. This is not a relationship. You can’t have a relationship with someone who will challenge your deeply held beliefs about yourself, even if you win. Two people must work together in a loving relationship.
Commit Yourself to Opening Up to your Partner
Share your deepest fears. Tell your partner about what makes you tingle. Share with your partner your greatest regrets and biggest dreams. It takes more than just physical touch to love. It takes emotional touch. This requires that you and your partner openly see each other’s inner world.
Stop hiding your inner self and let your partner know you deeply. It will not be easy. You’ll feel overwhelmed. You’ll want to attack your partner. If you feel like you are being squeezed by a lack of space, then you are on the right path. The belief that you aren’t worthy of love is what is suffocating you.
As you allow someone else to enter your heart, you are filling its emptiness. You can be very hurtful about your childhood and the relationships that failed you. However, it is your responsibility for changing the beliefs that cause the destruction of your relationships.
Be Emotionally Available in Love Relationship
You can learn the emotional skills necessary to be a loving and emotionally accessible lover. These six steps are a great place for you to start. You can also work to become a better listener. To stop letting your addictions control you. Give more than you take. Most importantly, stop being so critical of your partner and yourself.
However, too much of something is also not good. So be balanced with your emotions and don’t let yourself being deeply attached to someone! It’s really hard to detach from emotional involvement.
