Last Updated on October 31, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
Contrary to what many people believe, burning bridges can be a great way of keeping up with the rat race. Dancing in the flames on a burned bridge is a great motivator to work harder and push forward. Sometimes, you need to rebuild a bridge that has been damaged for the greater good. But how can you fix a broken relationship?
These are some ways to repair a relationship that is broken, but it’s surely not easy!
Understanding | How to Fix a Broken Relationship
Attachment is something you’ve probably learned about if you have children. Attachment theory states that if you respond to your child’s needs with kindness and consistency, they will feel safe in the world. Vice versa. It will cause a feeling of mistrust in your child, which can lead to an environment where there is no safety. Every child has a different level or type of attachment. Secure attachments are those that were nurtured by a caregiver who loved us and listened to our needs. Others of us have insecure attachments due to caregivers who weren’t able to tune into our signals or didn’t respond to our needs.
In order to understand attachment, you’ll have to start with the basics to provide the needs of your children.
You either care about the person or you need it. This is why you are trying to rebuild a relationship. Focus on the person and not what you want, even if you have something you need. Showing that you care about your partner will make them more open to help you.
Be Honest (In a Nice Way)
Even when you disagree, be truthful. While it may not have ended your relationship, it is not going to make it better. Keep it civil and avoid being defensive or offensive.
No matter what, be your true self. It’s better to fail than try to be someone else. Do not pretend to be someone else. It’s not a contest. You’d be amazed at the doors that honesty can open for you.
Know When To Take Actions | How to Fix a Broken Relationship
Start a Friendly and Polite Dialogue
A simple “Hi” or invitation is sufficient to start a conversation. It may suffice to send them a message. However, depending on their blocking, you might need to mention who you are. You don’t need to say more, nor send more messages, until they respond. Otherwise, you may come across as irritating.
An apology can resolve most conflicts. It will allow you to forgive yourself and move forward, even if it isn’t.
Accept responsibility even if it seems you are not at fault. Accepting responsibility will allow you to bridge the gap between your perceptions.
Brainstorming | How to Fix a Broken Relationship
Be open to the idea of involving the other person in rebuilding your relationship. If the other person is speaking, or at least is interested in your thoughts, you can put the responsibility on them by asking for their input.
Be Clear About Your Intentions | How to Fix a Broken Relationship
Once you have established a dialogue, it is important to use it for its value. Be open, honest, and upfront about your goals. This will show the other person that you value them and help to rebuild trust. Do not expect anyone to be able to read what you are thinking.
Have Boundaries To Prevent Chaos | How to Fix a Broken Relationship
Being civil is an important part of fixing a relationship. If it’s impossible to get back together, the least you can do is become civil about the past. You and your ex-partner should understand that you cannot be the same people you were before.
Having a civil relationship can help you two handle your children and have a proper schedule of seeing each other. It’s important that you two have boundaries because one might step out of the line that can get you two under fire again.
Build a Bridge, and Get Over It
It’s time to forget about the past. While you can talk about the problems that you experienced in your relationship attempt, dwelling on them will only lead to more. You can quickly bridge the gap between you and your rift.
Enforce Your Boundaries
Respect is earned by you. If someone crosses a boundary that you have established, be polite and gentle with them. Be sure to acknowledge it so that you don’t falsely accuse anyone of crossing a line they didn’t know existed.
Remember to be detached from your life’s outcomes. You will be rejected if you try to put all your eggs in the basket of this person. Instead, be clear about who you are and how you respond, but don’t expect to get your ideal outcome.
Avoid Pushing Buttons
Keep in mind that you and the other person have animosity towards each other, or at least used to. There are triggers that can lead to animosity between you and the other party. Be an adult and don’t push those buttons no matter how tempting.
Positive thinking is always a good thing. Even if you don’t get what you want, it is possible to look forward to the next opportunity. You’ll be able to look forward and exude confidence which will make you more attractive to others. This will make the other person wonder why they don’t have a relationship.
If All Else Fails, Let Go | How to Fix a Broken Relationship
If you’ve both tried your very best to be civil to one another but still get into arguments that can cause you two more damages, you both have to let go. You can still co-parent but you’ll have less of a relationship with one another.
Obviously, having the other with you for a significant amount of time would only cause more pain. This won’t have a good effect on your children, so it’s best to stop trying. Simply talk about your children, no more, no less.
Sometimes You Have to Let Go
There’s a possibility that the other person doesn’t want you to reconnect, despite your best intentions. Don’t be surprised if he or she doesn’t respond or seems aggressive. There are billions upon billions of people on the planet, so there is no reason to waste time with someone who doesn’t like or respect you.
It is not easy to rebuild a relationship that has been broken. Both parties must face the animosity, distrust and other factors that caused you to separate. You can reconnect with someone via text, email, and online if you are trying to repair a relationship that was damaged in the past. You may have interest if he or she replies. If not, you can have the closure that you need to move forward.