Last Updated on October 3, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
It’s shocking to see how narcissists treat you and other people. Have you ever wondered what it takes to make someone narcissistic? And if you are facing one, what can you do to make a narcissist miserable?
However, making a narcissist unhappy might be a good idea for a brief period, but it is not something you should do for too long. This will undoubtedly have an impact on your mental health, and energy levels.
What Is Narcissism?
Narcissist is a term that is often used casually to describe someone who appears a little self-involved. People with narcissistic personality disorders are generally preoccupied with their success. They have a great sense of self-importance, which influences their decisions and interactions.
Because of their manipulative tendencies, lack of empathy, and manipulative tendencies, narcissists have difficulty building or maintaining relationships with others. Narcissists often feel entitled, lack compassion, and crave admiration. The following are example behaviors of narcissists:
- A sense of self-importance and grandiosity
- Overestimating their talents and accomplishments
- Seeking too much admiration and acknowledgement
- Preoccupation with beauty, love and power or success
- Exaggerated feelings of being unique
- Believe that the world owes it to them
- Exploiting others in order to get what you want (regardless of how it affects others)
- Apathy toward others
The most famous narcissist that is being featured on social media these days: Amber Heard!
How to Make a Narcissist Miserable?
Lack Of Acknowledgment
Most narcissists love validation and admiration. To maintain their intrinsic worth, they rely on constant validation. They absorb the energy of others to feel positive about themselves.
Ever wonder why narcissists don’t mind negative attention? Negative attention fuels their narcissistic fire. Negativity is still attention and any type of attention gives them the motivation to keep going. They are motivated to continue proving themselves. They actually like negative attention more because they can use it to make you feel even more entrapped and secure.
A lack of acknowledgement can be a serious threat. Indifference to others is more dangerous than hatred for a narcissist. They would rather you have a negative view than none at all. Narcissists don’t like it when people aren’t paying attention to their needs. They can’t feel special or important if they’re not the center of attention or the focus of someone else’s thoughts.
Speak Facts to Make a Narcissist Miserable
Did you ever pay attention to the language used by narcissists? They speak in a long, rambling voice filled with grandiose emotions. They distort reality to fit their worldview and believe that their truth is always true.
Cognitive empathy is a way for them to use their cognitive abilities to observe the emotions of others and make their own decisions. Narcissists intuitively know that they have less power when they speak in facts and not emotion.
Moreover, they hate it when people challenge them with facts and not emotion. These people are likely to retaliate by arguing more or creating more hysteria.
So, they are simply reacting in a childish way to show that they have lost control. Then, to increase the intensity of the conversation, they will throw an emotional temper tantrum.
This dynamic actually highlights the narcissist’s incompetence. Their inability to absorb information demonstrates their incompetence at dealing with adults. Because they lie and hide things all the time, their inability to comprehend facts throws them off balance.
Narcissists detest authority. They don’t like having to answer to anyone but themselves. They fear any sense of authority will impede their natural desire for control and power. Narcissists can have problems at school, work, and with the law. These make a narcissist miserable.
Narcissists are intelligent but can also be combative and unfit for work. They will rationalize or deny their actions when confronted with their inexcusable behavior. It’s not surprising that authority figures don’t like working with narcissists. They are unruly and unreasonable, according to supervisors. Supervisors are unable to understand why the person is unable to follow basic instructions without volatile reactions.
Simply Tell Them “No” Makes a Narcissist Miserable
Narcissists hate being told no and actually doing so. Narcissists know how to manipulate and coerce their way to obtaining what they want. They will often go to great lengths to achieve this goal. This is because they have spent their entire lives enchanting people to satisfy their needs. They don’t stop to consider how your emotions impact the dynamic.
This is why they react so strongly to being told no and insisting on their stance. Narcissists aren’t only upset by the denial, they’re also confused about it. Narcissists don’t understand why anyone would reject them. They lack empathy and can’t comprehend what is going on inside your head. They refuse to believe that reality, even though they attempt to understand it.
Do you remember trying to establish boundaries with a narcissist? What happened? Most likely, they were receptive to your attempts to put in a limit. They do so by:
- Gaslighting your feelings and abandoning you completely
- Recognizing their mistakes, promising to make amends, and then not doing anything about it.
- Responding with rage, threats or physical violence
Narcissists don’t want to accept any consequences. They don’t know when they are wrong and can’t comprehend why someone would think they are wrong. Even if they understood it, the narcissist would not care. They will react negatively to boundaries and serious conversations to intimidate and force compliance.
Many people give up trying to impose consequences on narcissists. They give up on trying to resolve conflict and abandon their feelings. How many times have they avoided setting a boundary, simply because they don’t want to be in conflict?
Beat Them At A Game Surely Make a Narcissist Miserable
Do you remember seeing young children play a board game? You’ve probably seen many children cheat and react badly to losing. This is acceptable for players under three years of age, but it’s not appropriate for adults over the age of 18.
Narcissists often resemble toddlers in that they are very resentful of losing. They are unable to accept loss and will lash out when it does happen. A few scenarios may occur:
- Repeated their assertions that the boss/referee was incompetent
- Tries to humiliate or defame the winner
- Insists on letting the “other person” have the spotlight
- Won’t accept they were wrong and act awkwardly as if they are the winner. You may have heard this from someone who has left you, telling everyone that they were the one who left.
Narcissists are sore losers and can’t deal with real or perceived humiliation. They can’t bear the idea of losing. Public humiliation to them is the ultimate form of defeat. Narcissists are known for their fragile egos. They feel jilted if someone makes fun of them, or if they aren’t the authority or expert in a public setting. They will do whatever it takes to preserve their fragile ego. Some common responses are:
- Threatening to use violence or emotional threats
- Try to outdo the audience by making fun of them
- Yelling or screaming
- Moving on with evident anger
- Laughing off your problems in public, only to later lash out at loved ones
Expectations of Commitment
Narcissists have a terrible record of commitment. They believe they are entitled to loyalty but don’t always show it. In short, they don’t take into account the needs of others when they are in relationships (not in marriage, not even in co-parenting) They only account for their emotions, impulses and desires.
Many adoring spouses hold on to hope for their narcissist’s improvement, but it is not uncommon for them to be narcissists. They are enthralled by the way their narcissist praises them and adores. They believe that things will change this time. The narcissist is the one who makes the rules. They choose what they want and when they want it to happen. They can also break the rules and modify them in ways that are most appropriate for them.
Vulnerability And Emotional Expression
Narcissists use cognitive empathy to pretend interest in the emotions of others. Empathy is real, and it means to put yourself in the shoes of another person. We can take on the emotions and experiences of another person.
Cognitive empathy is, however, far more pervasive and manipulative. Consider the salesman who wants to make you feel uncomfortable about purchasing a car. Consider the general contractor who convinces your family that you should upgrade your appliances.
Cognitive empathy is the ability to tap into the deep emotions and feelings of another person. This tactic requires a first connection. Cognitive empathy is used by Narcissists to “gain access” to your vulnerability. This false kindness and compassion is used to establish trust and rapport. They also hate vulnerability and emotional expression, because it’s seen as a weakness. They use it to exploit you when you are weak.
Your Own Clarity Make a Narcissist Miserable
The narcissist hates that you may remember your life before they met you. They will use manipulative tactics to stop this fear from coming true. To keep you captivated and interested, narcissists love-bomb. Their charm, wit and cognitive empathy will win you over. You’ll feel special and unique in ways that you have never experienced (all thanks to cognitive empathy).
The narcissist doesn’t want you to think for your own good. They will try to destroy you and make you feel weak. They will make you question your abilities and your motives. These people will want to reprogram your brain and will do everything they can to keep it that way.
Leaving Them or Finally Stopping Them From Controlling You
Narcissists don’t like change when it is out of their control. If you are with a narcissist you will remain trapped in a destructive pattern of resentment, frustration and annoyance. If you really want to make a narcissist unhappy, it’s best to just leave them. Any other approach only serves to reinforce their mind control and makes them feel they still have the power over you. This is the best way to let them know that you are not their puppet.
It is possible to humiliate, outsmart and overwhelm a narcissist by simply leaving them. However, it is possible to escape and live your life without narcissists.
In short, it can be difficult to recover from narcissistic abuse, or deal with a narcissist. But, there is nothing wrong to admit that you need help.