Last Updated on June 3, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
It’s not easy to find mom friends (moms who have children the same age as you) with whom you can laugh, share your deepest fears, and click. No matter how awkward it feels, remember that every mom, regardless of their stage in motherhood, is in the exact same position.
It doesn’t matter if you are a new mom, or a mom who has just moved to a new place. You need to learn how to make friends. It can be nerve-racking to make a first date with a mom friend. These five tips will help you make mommy friends, break the ice and get through the awkward first date.
What You Should Do To Make Mom Friends
Put Yourself Out There
Your baby may sleep a lot, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be there all the time. Take the baby in a stroller and take a walk around the neighborhood. A baby in a stroller makes a great conversation starter. You’ll be surprised at the number of people who will notice your cute baby and make comments about it. Even though it may seem irritating at first, it’s a great opportunity to leverage it for your benefit. People love to make connections. It’s impossible to predict who might have a child or friend with the same age as you.
Look for your nearest playground, some are suitable for toddlers, sign up for music classes, search online for meet-up mom groups or just plant yourself in a coffee shop.
Make The First Move to Make Mom Friends
If you find someone you can connect with, reach out to her. Keep in mind that we are all in the same parenting boat. Other moms, regardless of how close they appear, are just as interested in mom friendship as you. How can you break the ice with her? You can compliment her! Tell her what you love about her child.
Find ways to get children involved first. Bring extra toys to the park. Children love push toys, balls, and bubbles. You attract more moms and kids the more toys you have. You can talk once the children are having fun.
Begin by talking small by asking the mother what her child is named and how old they are. Also ask which neighborhood they live in. The best way to build a relationship is to share commonalities.
Another way is joining community groups that support single mothers near you. So you can easily find friends who are in the same situation.
Get Contact Information
After you have made some laughs and broken the ice, make sure to exchange contact information with any potential mom friend. Keep it simple at the beginning. Find out how your friend prefers to be reached — via phone, text, or email — and follow that.
Stern states that it is essential to exchange contact information. You will end up in a limbo of “Let’s do it again sometime”, even though you may not see each other for months. Be sure to ask her for her last name if she tells you that she found her on Facebook.
You can also give your information to her first, and she may choose to reach out to you. Don’t be disappointed if she doesn’t respond or follow up. Focus on building relationships with other moms. It doesn’t matter how awkward or awkward, there is a way to connect.
Plan Playdates for Mom Friends to Get Together
Even if you are friends with a new mom friend it can be stressful to go on a first date. You are still trying to find common ground with your mom friend while also trying to look after the children. The best case scenario is that the children will be able to play on their own, and you will have enough time to get acquainted with one another.
Worst-case scenario: Your children demand too much attention. There is pulling, pushing and whining that interrupts personal interaction.
Pick a time and location that is most convenient for both you and your child. Consider meeting in the morning if your child is most happy and energetic in the morning. Host a playdate at home if your little one is often overstimulated in unfamiliar environments. Be strategic and plan ahead. It’s not about your child’s feelings. If you feel anxious at feeding time, then avoid lunchtime playdates. It’s okay to tell your child that something isn’t working for you.
However, you should always offer alternatives so that the other mom can see you are committed to building a friendship. Never extend your invitation to another person when you meet up. Playdates should not last longer than two hours, especially at the beginning. This is the ideal amount of time to avoid meltdowns.
Utilize Naptime as a Playdate
You can take your kids along in a stroller and go for a walk. Grab a cup of coffee or meet up at a park bench. It’s fine to meet another mom while your children are sleeping. It’s possible to really concentrate on each other and establish if you have a genuine connection.
Confirm the Connection
It takes trial and error to make mom friends, but if you don’t try you will not succeed. It is important to enter a playdate with a positive attitude but also be realistic. You don’t have to be the best friend to everyone. But you should try to like and respect other moms. Spending enough to spend at least an hour a week with them, especially if they are good friends with your child.
You never know who you might meet in a new friendship. But you can still find other moms to connect with and form lasting friendships.
So why are Mom Friends so important?
1. Motherhood can feel brutally lonely
Mothering can be lonely in parts. You can feel so alone when you have to give up sleep or get up at night. Motherhood was not meant to be experienced alone. A tribe is essential! Reach out to others if you feel isolated. To grow your community, connect with other Moms or find a Mom’s group in your area. There are many Moms you can lean on.
2. You need other Mom’s to commiserate with
Some parts of motherhood are difficult to understand for a spouse. No spouse can understand the struggles you have experienced the same way as a fellow mom. It can help to have someone to talk with, vent, and understand what you’re going through.
3. You need Mom’s to grow with
Motherhood can be a transformative experience. You can transform into an adult in a matter of seconds, full of love and intuition. The transformation does not end with the birth of a baby. There are many phases that will stretch you in new ways.
A tribe of mom friends has been a great support system. You can support one another when one of you feels the sadness of watching them grow up too quickly. But can also look back with strong feelings for those sleep-deprived, park-filled preschool days. We can help one another remember the joy and pain of what we have just gone through, and we can be there for each other as we continue our journey into new territory as parents.
4. Motherhood offers amazing common ground for friendship
Each family is different with its own strengths and challenges. However, mothers share many commonalities. Mothers tend to love their children with fierce love. They have irrational worries and want the best for them. The strength of our shared hearts for the well-being of our children is a strong foundation for a beautiful, supportive friendship that can grow.
There are many ways to help our children, as long as we have the same goal of providing a safe and loving home. This time together and our shared experiences can be used to help one another do these things well rather than getting hung up over the details that can lead to dividing lives. This will make for a deep friendship you will never regret.
5. Motherhood gives you the chance to be a support to other Moms
You will find that certain things become easier once you get past the sleepless, hazy stage of motherhood. You will feel like you have a functioning brain, such as getting in and out of your car in under 15 minutes, being able to shower without worrying about someone accidentally burning down your house, and having the ability to get in and out of it in less time.
If you’re trying to figure out how to maintain friendships and balance motherhood, I urge you to remember that friendship and motherhood are possible! Motherhood was not meant to be done by one person. Reach out to a friend, make a connection, and don’t be afraid to ask for help if your children are crazy or your brain isn’t working correctly. Your Mom friends may be struggling right alongside you and will need you to be her friend!