‘I Don’t Know How You Do It!’

As a mom of three small children all born within a year of each other, I got this comment a lot. I would use flowery language and explain how I fail at one thing but succeed at others. The conversation would go on and on until there were no more explanations of how I did it.

As a single mom, the comment ‘I don’t know how you do it!’ has become almost a daily one and I am often baffled by it.

kids a disney

The Answer Depends on Your Situation

I often answer that it is all relative. Depending on your situation, single motherhood can be more or less challenging than motherhood in general. I feel working out of the home, single moms have it a lot harder than a single mom like me who works from home. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have to arrange day care and pick ups and extracurricular activities as a single mom who is in an office all day.

The thought of not seeing my children except for a few hours at the end of the day is not one I can comprehend. So I know I am blessed and I don’t think my household would run as smoothly if I did work out of the home.

Be Aware That Everyone Has Challenges

But on the flip side, owning my own business from home adds a lot of other stresses. I almost never see another person besides my children days on end. I don’t have a lot of adult conversations and, because almost everyone I know works out of the home, loneliness can be a daily battle. There are many people that tell me that they could not do what I do.

Working at crazy hours so that my kids have me during theirs. I never leave my job. I work seven days a week. Often 10 – 12 hours a day. Breaks are often work related and any extras I get to do with the kids are often something I will have to write about to enjoy the perk. My computer is always staring at me, products piled up mocking me, phone attached as if it were another hand.

Down Time is a Luxury for Everyone

Down time is a luxury for me. I often feel as if my kids wish I worked out of the home so I would have a weekend off to just be with them.  But I trade that to be home when they get home from school. To not have to take a day off when they have a sick day. To be able to drop everything of they need something.

It’s All Relative

So, it is all relative. Motherhood is never easy. Regardless of the number of parents, regardless of the financial situation, regardless of the external stress in our life. But I will say that we single moms are just as dedicated, just as passionate and have just as many dreams for our children.

We do it just like anyone else. One day at a time.

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