Last Updated on January 27, 2023 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
One of the most significant changes that a person can make is to have a baby. In 99.9% of cases, the biggest change in a woman’s life is the birth. Your life will soon become all diapers, spit-up and crying if you are able to stay at home mom. And we don’t just mean the baby’s regular tears. We are talking about the feeling of “I Hate Being A Mom”. It’s weird to hear this, but it’s 100% true and it happens once in a while. If you ensure that you have never ever had this thought, unquestionable admiration to you, moms!
Imagine, if you are trying to keep your job, the situation is even worse. How is it possible for a woman to work 8+ hours per day while raising a healthy, happy child? Your lunch break will be spent pumping milk. You won’t sleep well. You’ll also feel guilty about going to work because you know that your absence from your child’s life will cause permanent damage.
It can be very difficult to maintain a relationship. It can be difficult to watch your baby or split your time between work and the baby, and still get excited when your partner comes home. What about sex? It’s all overrated. This is what brought you to this place in the first instance!
Is It Normal When I Hate Being A Mom?
It’s normal to feel frustrated at times as a mother. You gave up a lot of your life when you had a baby. It’s now the baby’s life which matters most. You will eat last, sleep last and generally be the last person on your priority list. This is only true if you are lucky. Sometimes, you may also need to deal with a serious mental health issue.
Intrusive thoughts can be a problem for new mothers. These thoughts may contain disturbing or even violent content. You might think about what it would be like if you left your baby and never came back. Although you wouldn’t do it, the mere thought of it might make you feel like the worst mom. You are not a bad mother, and everyone has thoughts like these from time to time.
You may also be diagnosed with a more severe mental illness.
Warning Signs Should Be Noted:
- Significant changes in your sleeping and eating habits.
- Extreme mood swings.
- An excessive amount of worry, anxiety, or paranoia.
- Retire from social events
- Sadness or irritability that lasts a long time.
It is important to seek professional help immediately if you experience these symptoms. This article, Stay at-Home Mom Depression: Symptoms and How to Cope has great tips.
Mothers should not sleep less than seven hours a night. Everybody should sleep seven hours per night. A screaming baby can disrupt your sleep patterns and cause more problems than one day. Research shows that parents (or at least mothers) are most likely to be sleep deprived for at least six years of their child’s lives.
You can look 10 years older if you are sleep-deprived. You may also experience higher blood pressure, slower metabolism, weight gain and a greater likelihood of getting a cold. Your chances of developing heart disease will increase by 48 percent. You’ll also triple your chance of getting type 2 diabetes. And you’ll be 36 percent more likely than ever to develop colorectal cancer. You must find a way to get enough sleep before it is too late.
What To Do When You Have The Feeling “I Hate Being A Mom“
It is difficult to be a parent. The truth is, it is not easy. You will have many times in your life when you hate being a parent. This is the exact time motherhood starts.
Now you’re aware of this, it is time to get back on track. It’s important that you take time for yourself when you are having intrusive thoughts, sleep-deprived or suffering from depletion. You might be wondering, “How can I do that?” The truth is, you will burn out faster if you don’t take care of yourself. Turn off your inner critic and take some time to relax, take a bath, or read a book. You can recover some energy by doing just one of these activities.
Sometimes, it’s possible to go over your limit. It’s time for emergency help. These confidential calls could mean the difference between making a mistake and getting back on track. Call one of these numbers if you require immediate assistance:
- SAMHSA’s Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP
- NAMI Helpline: 1-800-950 NAMI
- Mental Health America Hotline: Text MHA (741741)
- The Samaritans: 1-212-673-3000
Reaching out for help is the best way to feel better and stop hating motherhood. Talking through your emotions can help you to feel better. Use the tips and don’t forget to enjoy being a parent. If you feel overwhelmed, there are resources that can help.
Reasons Why Someone May Feel “I Hate Being A Mom“
Parents may be unhappy for a variety of reasons. There are many ways to feel better.
Fatigue
Everything can feel worse if you are tired. Lack of sleep can have a significant impact on brain function and could lead to clinical depression. A healthy brain requires restorative sleep. If you don’t get enough sleep, it can affect your ability to function physically and mentally.
It can be difficult for parents to get enough sleep with a newborn baby. Your pediatrician can help you and your baby sleep better if you are the parent. Methods such as scheduled awakenings, positive schedule, and bedtime fading are all practical and safe ways to help a baby sleep. Oh, just think about all the struggles with our babies’ schedule makes me feel like I hate being a mom.
Relationship Problems
No matter how intimate the relationship, children can make things more difficult. The addition of children to a relationship can lead to more disagreements about childrearing and division of household labor.
The stress of being a parent can lead to relationship discord. You may find it harder to be present for your partner when you have a child. It is possible to have to change your expectations or relationship.
You may want to seek out a counselor if your partner isn’t helping you with child rearing or if you are a single parent trying to co-parent. This will help you learn how to co-parent effectively, and relieve some of the stress.
Reduced Sense Of Purpose Or Identity
You might lose your job, your volunteer work, your time with friends or your routine workouts if you have to give up a meaningful activity in order to be a parent. You may feel like you have lost a part of yourself if you had children or just had a baby.
Although you may feel like you have a new identity now that your child is a mother, it can still be hard to remember who you were before. Be kind to yourself, and take some time to adjust.
Consider whether any beliefs you hold are false. You may think you cannot travel because you have kids. Many families can travel with their children on a tight budget. Although it may seem harder to reach your goals, they are possible.
Pressure To Be “Perfect”
Raising children can feel like a burden. Many feel that raising a child is one of the most important tasks. They become obsessed with perfection and push themselves to do the right thing. It is possible to avoid making an irreversible error that could harm your child’s growth.
There are also myths that you might hear about parenting. These myths can make it seem like you need to improve or work harder. But societal pressures can cause more harm than good to your relationship with your child and yourself.
Be gentle with yourself. Accept that you are human. Give yourself permission to improve if necessary.
The Job Is Challenging
Parenting can feel like a job that is constantly on, with no time off. It doesn’t matter if you are a stay-at home parent or work from home, there will always be work with your kids. You may hate some of the parenting tasks.
Your children may cry or throw tantrums and you might feel frustrated. While it’s normal for children to feel emotional and cry as they develop and grow, it can be difficult to know what to do when there are severe behavioral issues.
You are not the only one who has behavioral issues with your child. There are many resources that can help you make parenting easier.
How To Make Parenting Easier
Parenting doesn’t have to be difficult. You may need to identify your feelings and take steps to improve your situation. You may be able to see things in your life that you didn’t know or gain a new perspective by taking a step back. Here are some tips to deal with the situation of “I hate being a mom”.
Be Honest To “I Hate Being A Mom“
Tell the truth about what you feel. Studies have shown that labeling emotions can help you feel better. You may feel more at ease if you let someone else know that you don’t like being a parent. You may find people in your life who can relate to your feelings and provide safe venting options.
Let Go Of Perfection
Perfection is rarely possible. To preserve your happiness, and your mental health, you may have to let things go. You might allow the house to be messy on the days that you are not home. You might also decide to get help rather than trying to be a parent all by yourself.
Try letting go of any guilt that you feel about your imperfections. You may be doing enough if you are doing all you can to care for your child and your family.
Consider Professional Help
Counselors can help parents cope with the challenges and joys of parenting, the “I hate being a mom” feeling. Counselors understand that parents need a way to express themselves and learn new skills. Therapy is beneficial for many parents. Research shows that psychotherapy is beneficial for both mothers and their children.
Online therapy might be a good option if you are often at home with children. You can call, message or video call your therapist online whenever it is most convenient. Online therapy is just as effective as in person therapy.
