My life has been a crazy rollercoaster lately, and some days I have no idea how I will survive as a single mom. This year marks the fifth time I am facing a cancer scare within a two-year time window.
When I heard the news from my doctor, grateful and exhausted are the two words that bubbled up from within me. I recognized all my biopsies and surgeries from the past have come back benign, but I am a bit tired of having to do this again. My doctor believes I am fine, but it is better to ensure my “health career,” he said, stays intact.
This news helped me realize I have received a more significant gift now.
When you want to live well when you are raising your children alone, it is time to change. A shift. A new beginning for the better for the long haul. For me, these are the kinds of changes I read about but have not dared to make.
Carrying the Burden of Being a Single Parent
Children are not a burden, but the responsibilities of caring for them sometimes feel overwhelming, no matter if you are a single parent or not. They are little people who need guidance, love, and direction every day.
However, if your quality of life is somewhat obsolete and your health is getting tossed to and fro, what can you do?
I cannot even utter, here is the game plan because life is not a game plan. It’s life. It’s to be enjoyed abundantly. So with great intentionality, we are embarking on a new journey to remove the clutter and let the good stuff in.
Tips on How To Survive as a Single Mom
- Sell everything you do not need.
- Live simply.
- Trust God to infinity and beyond.
- Stop worrying.
- Don’t apologize for everything.
- Procrastination is useless.
- Start believing.
- Play a whole lot more.
- Find your anchors.
- And yes, to borrow the phrase from the hit song from the movie FROZEN, Let it go.
In the time spent here on earth, we are only accountable for ourselves and raising our children. This is one guideline for what I believe to a life better lived. And I know I am not alone.
Find Your Anchors
At my son’s baseball game over the past weekend, I spoke with another single mom going through a divorce. She and her children moved to be home with her family. We both talked about feeling the sickness of stress and how it took its toll on our bodies, hearts, minds, and souls.
She told me she felt as though her DNA was dying and emphatically denied she was not a dramatic person; she needed to come home and feel well again. I have felt the same the past few years, I told her.
“Peace,” she told me. “I have peace, finally. And I wish this on everyone.”
That was when I realized that to survive as a single mom, and I needed to anchor myself. I started finding anchors in many different things. The first thing that came to me was my faith—the second, baseball.
Strange as that may sound, baseball has been a significant anchor for us. When my son plays, the world seems right again.
Lean on Others
Just because you are a single parent does not mean you have to do everything yourself. Any guilt that comes to the surface does not originate from a place of reasoning – trust me. Join a support group for single parents.
Call on trusted loved ones or even ask friends or neighbors for help. I have, and they have been incredibly supportive to me.
Children’s Love Help you Survive as a Single Mom
What you give to others, you will strengthen within yourself. Loving on your children and being paid attention to at the moment is, I think, what our children really want. When life is out of balance, this will feel like a burden. When your life is in check, this will feel like a gift.
Kids are always a gift, but I learned that you could not pour from an empty cup. The better you feel, the more love and affection you will be able to give.
Be Honest With Your Kids
It is okay to tell your children if you are having a bad day. I remembered a few years ago, Liam saw me crying after I received some bad news.
I told him: “Sometimes Mommies cry” and left it at that. He hugged me, and I immediately started feeling better. You don’t always need to talk about everything. Children sometimes understand much better than we can imagine.
To reduce your stress and truly live well, how might you shift toward thriving rather than just surviving? What would you do?