Last Updated on September 1, 2023 by Lori Pace
The constant struggle of motherhood is having no time for yourself. It’s exhausting trying to do it all with less time. It is expected that we will be “on” and able to manage chronic stress gracefully. We go on and on until we fall into a tired heap – a mom burnout.
Mommy burnout is caused by unrealistic expectations, whether they are societal or self-imposed. Experts recognize the syndrome as a serious and widespread problem. This burnout is feeling exhausted to the point of being unable to care for our children or feeling incompetent as parents. However, mommy burnout can be prevented and treated.
Mom Burnout When She Isn’t Happy
Moms who are in a state of burnout can have more problems. Headaches can turn into migraines, irritability to rage can escalate to physical aggression, sleeplessness to insomnia can turn into worry, constant anxiety can lead to forgetfulness, and worry can lead to constant anxiousness.
It gives you the mental energy to deal with those emotions if you have a good morning, exercised, and had breakfast. Imaging you are exhausted and have not eaten yet. Then, your children throw tantrums. If your emotions aren’t restored and you can’t manage yours, then how can you help a child. Concentrating on yourself can help you build patience and manage your temper.
The whole family suffers when Mom is in pain. Mommy burnout can have a devastating effect on our lives, work, relationships, and children. This should be cause for concern. If a mother is exhausted, children are more likely to have anxiety, trouble sleeping, and even physical pain like headaches and bellyaches.
Mommy burnout can also cause a child to feel less attached to their mother, which can affect how they relate with others in adulthood. It is important to prioritize yourself in order to be able prioritize your relationship with your child.
Get Yourself Back
The solution to your irritation is to get out of the way. Which means no to social invites and school commitments until they are guaranteed to bring joy to your family. You may need to schedule time off work to take a hard look at your daily life and make changes. You can prioritize more sleep by using your husband, your mother-in law, or a night nanny. It’s all about flexibility. Then figure out how you can get more time for yourself to recover.
Iit is important to identify your core values and prioritize them when scheduling. You need to remember that there are certain things we can control as well as different options we have to reduce stress. If your value is family, then it doesn’t have to be all about family togetherness.
One solution is to ignore societal norms and limit extracurricular activities per child. We are the parents and we can control their children’s lives. We can enroll them in classes, drive them around, or limit the number of extracurricular activities they participate in. This means you should decline invitations to school and other commitments that are not guaranteed to bring you joy.
Self-care does not have to be selfish, and it is actually essential for maintaining patience, mood, and a positive approach to each day. Focus on your genuine emotional well being, not just distracting your mind.
You can take a real reprieve once you have created space for yourself to re-center. You should be focusing on your true emotional well-being, and not on distracting your mind. It’s about living a life that is focused on taking care of oneself. It’s a mental shift. This mental shift is essential: the goal to stop multitasking. Multitasking is a habit that we don’t even realize we have. We search for the best highchair and bicycle until after midnight, when we should be sleeping.
Prioritize what is important and only do one task when you have to block time for decisions. Limit your options by selecting between only two or three options, and “shifting your mindset to what is best for your family.
Invest on Your Relationships
Women’s loneliness drives an extraordinary level of stress, as do men. Connect, connect, connect. You can stay sane by having lunch dates, coffee chats in the mornings, or sending a quick text message.
Experts say that in-person connections are ideal, but I have to be realistic. Even if I am unable to make it to a friend’s house, sending a message and seeing an untidy friend is enough to give me a boost of energy and establish adult connections.
A Burnout Mom Should Drop the Mom Guilt
It is important to be open to letting someone else do the job, even if their process differs from yours. It’s possible that not everything will go as planned, but that’s okay. Self-compassion is a daily practice. Instead of saying, “It’s okay that I won’t get all of it done”, say, “It’s OK to be unable to do this.”
It all comes down to perspective. We must accept the fact that everyone has limitations. Instead of dwelling on the inequalities of parenting, focus on what you’re proud of and not on the ones you can’t.
Have a Social Media Detox
Take some proactive steps to reduce anxiety and depression caused by social media. You should set “on” hours. Set a time limit for Instagram scrolling until you have completed your morning routine. You can simply stop scrolling 15 minutes before your bedtime.
Do not put too much weight on the number of followers, likes, and so forth. Your self-worth, value and worth are not determined by others’ clicks. When you spend time with your loved ones, put your phone down. Connecting is the most important goal, so give it your all.
Identifying How You React to Stress
It is possible to identify your stress style and the best way to respond. This will help you avoid chronic stress from developing. Fighters respond with anger, irritability, and agitation. They might seek solace in activities that calm their nervous system, such as yoga, deep breathing and soothing imagery, or confiding in a friend.
The mom who flees from stress reacts with depression and isolation. Sometimes, she even takes a drive or uses her phone to escape. Massages, journaling, and walking outside can help to calm the nervous system.
Moms who feel paralyzed or freeze easily could benefit from activities that stimulate the nervous system such as running, swimming, and mindfulness.
How to Treat A Mom Burnout
Identify your stress type. You can determine if you are a fighter or a fleer and what you can do to ease tension. This will help prevent stressful events from becoming chronic stress. Be proactive about preventing stress. Do whatever you enjoy, whether it’s running or meditating, and do it consistently.
Compartmentalize your life
Set boundaries between work and home. Take an hour at work to make personal appointments. At home, you can take an additional hour to complete some work before spending time with your family.
Manage your time
Rushing increases tension and stress in children, so plan ahead. Take a 30 minute early start to get your children to school, then take the time for yourself.
Get some perspective
Do not blame others for stress situations, or make excuses for your unhappiness. Instead, look for the positive in every situation. Studies have shown that optimists are better at managing stress.
Improve the aspects of your life that are causing a mom burnout
You can review where you live and work, how much you spend, what food you eat and how you parent. Then, you can make changes to improve your life.
Connect with other women
When stressed, females need to be able to rely on each other for friendship. The more you neglect these connections, the worse your mommy burnout and depression will be. Find women who are open to sharing their feelings, expressing themselves and laughing with you.
You are a wonderful mom and you know that, mommy!