single parenthood facts

Single Mom Stereotypes – Debunking the Myths

Single parents are often judged due to unfair stereotypes, and I thought it would be a good idea to share some facts about single parenthood.

I’ve experienced this quite a lot in my life, and people have judged me more times than I care to remember. I’ve had women say, “Oh, I’m sorry,” as if to offer their condolences for a death in the family. It amazes me that an apology would be the response for stating that I am a single mom.

But I know that when something is unfamiliar, it’s sometimes easier to respond in a detached manner than trying to understand someone’s situation. That’s why I made a pact with myself, never to take these comments personally or let them offend me.

I talk to other single moms all the time, and I always ask the question, “Do you think that people look down on single moms?”  The answer has been an overwhelmingly, “Yes!”

Here are a few of those myths about single moms and some single parenthood facts to change opinions.

Myths and Facts About Single Parenthood

Myth: Single Moms are Sexually Irresponsible

Single moms don’t have protected sex, which results in children born out of wedlock.

Truth:

Just because a woman is a single mother does not mean that she was sexually irresponsible.  Many women are now single mothers because of divorce, their spouse passed away, or because a long-term relationship ended, not because of a drunken night of unprotected sex.

Myth #2: Single Moms are Looking for a Hand Out

Single moms need help to take care of their children.  They are always looking for someone to give them something because they are single moms and need help.

Truth:

Many single mothers have great jobs and can take care of themselves, and they aren’t looking for a man to take care of them and their children.

People also need to consider that there are women who are career-driven and are very well off, who decided to be a single parent. Single mothers looking for help don’t do it for attention or fun. They certainly didn’t expect their lives to turn out this way, and all they want to do now is make the best of their situation.

Myth #3:  Single Moms Date with an Agenda

Single moms are dating to find someone to help them with their children and eventually find them a “new” dad.

Truth:

This one came as a surprise to me because many men believe this to be true.  Many men will not date a single mother because he thinks he will be an instant dad.

Here’s the thing, single moms date just like any other women because we want to go out and have a good time, as well as to meet a possible mate.  We aren’t different.

However, men should realize that many single mothers are very protective of their children. You will probably not be meeting her children until she is sure that you are worth taking things to the next level and introducing you to her kids.  Plus, just because a woman is a single mom does not mean that the fathers aren’t involved. The kids already have a father. We are not trying to make you one.

Myth #4:  Single Moms are Easy

Single moms have sex with any and everyone.

Truth:

Because a woman has children doesn’t mean that she is willing to have casual sex or that she is so desperate to be with a man that she will have sex with any man who shows her a little attention.

Myth #5:  Single Moms are Too Busy to Spend Time with their Children

Single moms are too busy to parent their children. Thus the children of single moms are unsupervised and out of control.

Truth:

Yes, single moms are very busy.  There is no one to share the responsibilities with on a day-to-day basis, so we have to juggle a lot. However, we are never too busy for our children.

Single mothers are often very strict on their children because they understand that the world is unsafe. Many single moms have dealt with real-life situations that are not always fair and teach their children about life early.

Myth #6:  Single Moms are Bad Role Models

Single Moms are not a good representative of what a mother should be because of all the “myths” we just discussed.

Truth:

Single Moms are no different than any other moms, and many “bad” mom role models happen to be married.  Every mom makes mistakes, and the way that a woman becomes a single mom has nothing to do with anyone. As long as she is honest with her children and strives to be the best mom that she can be, she will be a great role model for her kids.

What other myths have you heard about single moms?

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