Last Updated on August 1, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
Like it or not, we choose the partners we are with (with exceptions of people in arranged or forced marriages/relationships). Sometimes we are attracted to narcissists over and over. Even though we know it’s toxic, we still don’t know why we cannot get out of the relationship. In some case, even after divorce, single moms are still struggling to deal with narcissistic spouse. So, in this article, we will give you 5 possible answers to your question.
There are no coincidences when you are attracted to narcissists
Entering into a relationship with a narcissist once could happen on the basis that you found them attractive and charming–particularly if they’re a grandiose narcissist. People who are manipulative or charismatic can fool us all. Especially, when a single mom is in a difficult situation, and if you constantly look for your charming prince to help you, you may fall into their traps.
If you find yourself in relationships that are dominated by narcissists, then something is wrong.
This is not an accident. This behavior is not a coincidence. You could be repeating old patterns or looking for a self-destructive. You may be ending up at the exact same place over and over.
As a child, you were subject to narcissistic abuse
Many people who are attracted to narcissistic partners in adulthood were subjected to narcissistic abuse when they were children. Our ideas about ourselves and others are from our parents or grandparents teach us that the world is one way.
It’s understandable that your narcissistic parent told you that you had to behave in a certain manner to win their affection. Therefore, you will choose a partner who supports what you believe to be true. This is especially true with kids raised by narcissistic single parents, as they are the only one supporter in the child’s life.
You Can be Attracted to Narcissist Because of Low self-esteem
You may have low self-esteem due to past relationships, your upbringing or other life events. So, when you are not confident in yourself, you have a tendency to be happy and always depend on someone to share your life with. Single moms have to be really careful not to fall into this kind of relationship. Love yourself, and be confident, always!
Codependent tendencies are common
Are you a person who feels a sense of identity by taking care of others? You may be a people-pleaser who enjoys being indispensable, and happy to allow your partner to engage in abusive or unacceptable behavior. This could make you a narcissist.
Narcissists will identify partners who allow them to be dominant, act inappropriately, or be the center of attention. You will be a great partner if you can love a narcissist and completely ignore your needs.
You are naive so you keep being attracted to the charm of narcissists
Narcissists can use emotional manipulation to manipulate their relationships. You may find yourself drawn to narcissists even if you are not the type of person. For example, people with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) may find it difficult to understand the underlying motives of manipulation and manipulators. They might be attracted to narcissists as they can’t see between the lines.
You should seek professional help if you are constantly drawn to narcissists. And especially if you have experienced emotional abuse in these relationships.