Last Updated on August 1, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
It’s not easy to spot a lie. This is especially true if you are close to the potential liar. It’s possible to not believe someone close to you who lies to you. Your spouse, for example. But, eventually, lying will be too much. It can be devastating and harmful to your marriage, as well as your mental health. You must leave before it gets to this point. But when should you leave? But when? So, here are 11 signs you should be aware of to know when to leave, and how to deal with that lying spouse.
- 1 11 signs to know when to leave a lying spouse
- 1.1 Avoiding Eye Contact
- 1.2 Change in the Way They Talk | Knowing When to Leave a Lying Spouse
- 1.3 Their Tone is not the Same as it used to be
- 1.4 Evading Clear Answers
- 1.5 Trying to Distract You from the Topic
- 1.6 Talking too much about Other Things Instead of the Topic
- 1.7 Defensive Attitude (and Stance) | Knowing When to Leave a Lying Spouse
- 1.8 Distant Behavior
- 1.9 Can’t Keep Their Story Straight
- 1.10 Manipulating You into Doubting Yourself
- 1.11 Being Short Tempered | Knowing When to Leave a Lying Spouse
11 signs to know when to leave a lying spouse
Avoiding Eye Contact
The first sign of lying, which is avoiding eye contact, can go unnoticed if you trust your partner completely. It’s a sign that something is not right and you might not notice it.
Your spouse might be distracted if they aren’t making eye contact with you while speaking to you. If they avoid eye contact while answering questions, it could be a sign that they are lying.
Many people who are trying to figure out how to tell if a spouse is lying think that not looking at their spouse is a sign they should leave. It isn’t.
First, you don’t know what lies they might be telling you. It is also not clear why they lie. It would be a mistake to leave at the first sign that someone is lying. Avoiding eye contact can be a good indicator that something is not right. This is your wake-up call.
Change in the Way They Talk | Knowing When to Leave a Lying Spouse
You know your spouse’s speech patterns because you have been married for many years. You are familiar with their phrases and can tell what their thoughts are by just listening to their tone.
It’s possible that your spouse is lying if they have changed the way they speak to you, whether they’re talking alone or with others. Perhaps they have changed their tone of voice or pitch. Maybe they’re talking slower than usual.
This could be because they just make up what they want to say on the spot. These kinds of changes are not uncommon for liars, especially unprepared ones.
Their Tone is not the Same as it used to be
Want to know the best time to divorce a cheating spouse? You should tell them a lie as soon as possible. To do this, you must actually catch them in a lie.
Changes in tone are a good indicator that you’re lying. You might be asking your spouse questions they can’t answer or coming up with lies. It’s not a good sign to have a dismissive tone.
Evading Clear Answers
A liar will not always have a convincing lie prepared at all times. This is especially true if they aren’t expecting to be questioned. If you confront your spouse about a topic and they avoid answering, it could be an indication that they are trying to fabricate the truth.
This is also true if they take too much time to answer a question. The higher the likelihood that they lie, the simpler the question.
Trying to Distract You from the Topic
Even if they have been lying for some time, liars will resort to different strategies to protect themselves. While some will have detailed stories and answers for every question, others will use old-fashioned distraction tactics.
You might suspect your spouse may be lying if they act in a distracting manner when you ask them pointed questions. You might ask your spouse why they are late getting home from work. They will then come up to you and kiss you. They might also start an activity with you out of the blue. You may even be distracted by them initiating intimacy.
This tactic may work depending on how competent your spouse is and how distractible you are.
Talking too much about Other Things Instead of the Topic
Your spouse may try to distract your attention by going on tangents when you answer questions. They’ll answer your questions with a simple question, then launch into a monologue covering almost every topic in the universe except that you were asking.
This is a very effective lie technique, since people don’t want to interrupt other monologues. It can also be exhausting to follow a complex train of thought with no beginning or ending. You will forget what you asked or what it started by the end of the monologue.
Defensive Attitude (and Stance) | Knowing When to Leave a Lying Spouse
How can one tell when to divorce a cheating spouse? You don’t have to draw a line for your spouse to be honest with them and ask them to leave. If your spouse is becoming more defensive and resistant to you asking them questions or talking to them, it might be time to distance yourself from them or to leave.
A sign of guilt is a defensive attitude. It’s our natural instinct to become defensive when someone confronts us about something. If we lie or feel guilty, however, we are more likely to become defensive.
Let’s face the facts: if your spouse feels guilty, it could be a sign that they have done something that could damage or compromise your relationship.
A person lying is usually identified by their body language. You should pay more attention to their actions than what they say. They might be lying if they fidget, look away, scratch their heads, or play with their ears.
There is a lot to be shared in marriage. Your spouse probably shares most of your life with you, and vice versa. To avoid being incriminated, your spouse might not share information with you if they are doing something that could harm you.
They’ll instead act distant. It will feel like there is a gap between you and them that hasn’t existed before. This is a common behavior of liars. They will stop sharing any information and only communicate very little in an effort to not be caught. They might find lying too exhausting, so it is better to keep quiet.
Can’t Keep Their Story Straight
If their stories don’t make sense, it is a sure sign that you are being lied to. Maybe a new story contradicts an old one. Alternatively, they might have said something different at the end than what they started with.
When someone tells you a story, it’s easy to spot if they’re lying. You can just ask them to tell you the story backwards. Ask them questions about the events that they are describing, but start with the most recent. Lies can either be blatant or obfuscated.
Manipulating You into Doubting Yourself
If you didn’t feel moved by the nine previous signs, gaslighting should. They will do whatever it takes to keep their facade of honesty and trustworthiness intact that they’ll never be caught. They’ll make you believe you’re insane or misguided just for asking them questions.
This is emotional manipulation and it can be very harmful. You can be sure that your spouse is not only violating your trust, but also your marriage’s sacredness.
Being Short Tempered | Knowing When to Leave a Lying Spouse
How do you know when it’s time to let go of a cheating spouse? The most obvious sign you should leave your spouse is to get angry at them for questioning them. You should leave immediately if your spouse becomes angry at you for asking them questions and has violent outbursts that threaten your safety.
A liar will do whatever it takes to preserve their false identity, as we have already mentioned. They don’t want their lies exposed and will go to great lengths to avoid being caught. There’s no reason to wait for their lies and behavior to get out of control. Instead, confront them immediately if you feel suspicious. Keep an eye on these 11 signs, and if they become angry, leave that lying spouse.