Many people find it difficult to become a single parent of twins, especially a single mother. While most of us envision sharing parental responsibility with a partner in the future, it is not always possible. Some women have their children without a father. Others (moms or dads) may face divorce or death. Still, others, such as myself, can choose to be single fathers or mothers using sperm or egg donation.
No matter how you joined the single mother club of twins, a single parent feels the frustrations and stresses of providing support for their children. It can be lonely without your family. And many times, you’ve longed to get your parents’ help.
What You Should Do:
Get gear that makes a single mother’s life with newborn twins easier
You’ll wish you could have an extra set of arms as a single mom to help carry your twins while you hold them. You can’t get a second pair of arms, but you can replicate the feeling. Snuggle me Organic infant cushions might be a solution. The pillow uses the baby’s weight to create the same sense of being held by someone.
Ask Family Members To Come For Extended Visits
Ask your family members if they are able to stay longer. Even if you don’t have any family or friends nearby, it is possible to find family members who are willing to stay. These could be your grandparents, parents, siblings, or friends who would like to stay longer than usual.
Many parents have done this with singletons and twins. Even though your mom lives just a few miles away from you, she can stay with the family for several weeks if she offers to. Because they get to know you and your twins, extended visitors can be more helpful than weekend visitors. It won’t be necessary to explain to them where to buy diapers or what twin prefers a pacifier. It will be almost as easy to explain it to your friend or family members who live nearby.
Prepare Freezer Food Now
Many twin moms have found that finding food was the hardest task. It can also be expensive if you have to order takeout or delivery. All of them agreed that freezing food is essential. It will be easy to have dinner ready for you and your family, so there’s no need to worry about cooking.
Crockpot recipes are another option for freezing meals. Although you will still need to visit the grocery store to purchase ingredients, you can put together many recipes and it will be ready within hours. You don’t have to stand at the stove to prepare your meals.
Outsource Help when Being A Single Mother of Twins
Hiring help is possible if you have the funds. A nanny can care for twins and works part-time or full-time during the day. With someone there to help you, you won’t have the task of managing twins on your own. You will want to find a nanny with previous experience caring for twins. Here are some tips for hiring a nanny.
- Night nurses are similar to nannies, but they come to your home in the evenings and all night. She is there to take care of the twins and ensure that you get as much rest and sleep as possible. She can hold and burp the babies, and soothe their fussiness if they are still awake enough to nurse.
- Sometimes, a babysitter can provide relief and assistance when you are in need. Sometimes you just need a night out with your partner, or a quiet afternoon for yourself. You may only need a babysitter who is experienced in caring for twins.
- You can let a cleaning service handle the housework so that you can spend your time with the twins and get the rest you need. You might think about hiring a cleaning service for the first few months of your twins’ lives.
- A mother’s helper is someone who comes to your house for a few hours each day to do light chores or babysit. You could ask her to play with your older child, clean up the kitchen, or feed and hold the babies.
Get Out Of The House Often
It’s not easy to get out of your house with twins. The diaper bag, double stroller, and other gadgets they need to be happy are all there. You can’t help but be overwhelmed by their fussiness, making you feel frantic and even ashamed as you try to soothe them.
However, getting out of your house can do so much more for you than staying at home all day. It’s easier to stay at home, but it will be much more beneficial to get out of your house and do something.
The first month I spent with the twins was spent indoors. I only went to the doctor for appointments. Those first few weeks were pure survival mode. I had to concentrate on resting and keeping my babies safe indoors. After those first few weeks, it was easier to get out of the house and walk around the block. It gave me something to do when my twins got fussy. They would often stop fussing once we were out.
Prepare Ahead Of Time to Be A Single Mother of Twins
You won’t be able to holler to anyone to help you get the diaper cream or the pacifier if you are alone. You never know what you will need in the next few seconds. To make sure you don’t have any last-minute panic when you take the twins to the bathroom, prepare their diapers and pajamas ahead of time.
If you are bottle-feeding, you can lay out your twin pillows, prepare the formulas, and grab the burp cloth long before you set them down. You’ll eventually develop your own routine. You will know what you need and which events go together. These routines will help you run on autopilot.