Last Updated on January 23, 2024 by Lori Pace
What are the goals you should consider when raising a son? This article will point out 7 tips and goals that as a single mother and son, you can try achieve together!
It is difficult to parent alone, there is no doubt. Psychologists agree that boys don’t need constant male guidance to be confident and healthy. A father who is not a good role model for his sons can cause more harm than good. His son will be better off without the influence of his biological father if he is neglectful, abusive, or just plain unloving. So, how can a single mother raise a boy?
First, believe that your actions and beliefs will lead you to success. These are just a few other things to remember:
1. Change Your Attitude
Try to resolve any issues you have about men and relationships. This is especially important if you are a single mother in difficult circumstances, such as if your son’s dad left without explanation or warning. It’s okay to get emotional when you look at your son, and see his biological father’s face. Tell your son often and early how much you love him, regardless of how you feel about the biological father.
2. Banish Any “Man Of The House” Notions About Your Son
Your goal is for your son to become a man. However, your son can’t assume responsibility for adult men’s actions right now. And, your son is not your knight in shining armor, confidant or rescuer. Ask your son privately and quickly if anyone asks you if your son is taking care of Mommy, or if he wrongly assigns “man-of-the-house” responsibilities to him. Your son’s job is to be a child.
3. Set Limits Early | Single Mother and Son Goals
Single moms’ sons are not more likely to get into trouble than their adult counterparts. Do not believe all the dire predictions. Be confident in your abilities as a parent.
4. Teach Your Son Your Values
Let him be the one to express these values. Men you encounter every day should be able to identify positive traits. It is important to show kindness and consideration when dealing with others. In age-appropriate manners, discuss examples of bullying. Discuss why these behaviors are against your family’s values and just plain wrong.
5. Stress Using Words Rather Than Actions To Convey Feelings
Family rules prohibit hitting, punching, and kicking. Talk about alternatives to unruly behavior with your son so that he can make better choices the next time. These conversations will not be a one-time conversation.
This behavior can be emulated by using words to express your feelings instead of slamming on the door or running around angrily. It’s not okay to exclude people from your home. Your son should be able to let out his emotions without judgment or discouragement. While spanking might work temporarily, it sends the strong message that acting out one’s feelings is okay, even if you are the one responsible.
6. Keep Talking | Single Mother and Son Goals
Your son will face more challenges as he gets older. Adolescent boys are afraid of revealing their vulnerability and confusion. We still value “real men”, who don’t fear weakness and are able to solve their own problems. Solo single mothers – those who do not have a partner in raising their children – are advised to let their sons play basketball or leave them alone. We are assured that he will be fine, and advised not to hover.
Refrain from the urge to walk away and shrug your shoulders. Let your son know this is the right time to tell him that you are always available for conversation. Talking openly, sharing child-friendly details and about your life will encourage your son to speak up rather than sulk.
7. All Of That Along With Thinking About The Following | Single Mother and Son Goals
Finances
A thorough review of your income and expenditures is key to a healthy financial future. Understanding where your money goes each month is essential.
Budget
Are you happy with the amount you know? Did you find that you are spending too much and living paycheck-to-paycheck? Are you even spending more than what you earn? You need to look at your budget to see if you can save more and spend less.
Save More Money This Year
Once you’ve reviewed your budget, it is time to start saving extra money. Here are some tips to help you get started.
No-Spend Days
Take a no-spend challenge to give your bank account a break. Start small and pick one day per week if you’re not sure you can complete a whole week or a month. You won’t spend money on this day. You won’t shop, eat out or spend money on entertainment. And, you will develop the habit of looking at your options and becoming more aware of what you are spending.
Automate your savings
This is the best way to save money. After you have reviewed your budget and found ways to reduce your expenses, you can apply for an automatic transfer right after you get paid. If you can cut your utility bills by $100 per month, and money is deposited to your account, $100 will be automatically transferred to a separate savings account. Automated savings will ensure that you aren’t tempted to spend money that you don’t already have.
Earn more this year
You will eventually reach a point where you cannot save enough money each month. The next step is to increase your earnings. These are just a few ways to make more money this year.
Ask for a raise
It may be time to ask for a raise if you’ve been working at your job for longer than one year. This can be very difficult for women. Begin by listing all the ways that you can contribute to your company or your department. What are you doing to add value to your company’s operations? Are you willing to put in more effort and exceed your expectations? Are there goals you want to achieve in your department?
You may find that you are not putting in as much effort as you should. Take some time to work on your work performance. You can talk with your manager about your goals and discuss them so you are comfortable asking for a raise. Do some research on what you could make if you moved to another company. What is the current market value of the work you do? It’s really useful to get involved in networking within my field and keep track of what other people with similar training are making.
Wait until the right time to ask your boss for a raise. It’s not a good time to ask for a raise if the company is trying to cut costs or has put a hiring freeze in place. Finally, be ready to accept a no if you are able to get a raise. Ask what it takes to get your yes. Are there any additional training options? Is there a timeline when you can expect to get a raise?
Switch Jobs
Consider moving on if you feel that there isn’t enough room for growth in your current job. Although it might be scary to make this change, it can also be the best decision. It is worth looking into your options.
To expand your job opportunities and increase your hiring ability, you might also consider acquiring additional skills and training. You might be able to move to another department in your company if you have the right skills. Change is a good thing. It’s how we learn and grow. Be open to exploring new possibilities and think outside of the box.
Add a new part time job
You may be happy at your current job and want to consider adding a part-time job. It’s not ideal, as you want to spend as much time with your children as possible as a single mother. Flexible work is possible if you have flexible hours and a split custody schedule. It’s possible to work for Uber, Lyft, and DoorDash.
Start a side hustle
Start your own side business if you are looking for maximum flexibility and earning potential. You don’t want to have too much stuff in your garage so now is the time to make an inventory and sell what you don’t have. You can either hold a garage sale, or you can list individual items online.
Start small with Etsy selling your crafts, refinishing yard-sale items or taking surveys online in your spare time. You can also tap into your mompreneur side hustle and start a business. You have many options for side hustles, including coaching, consulting, freelance writing, or doing what I did, starting a blog.
Focus on personal goals | Single Mother and Son Goals
While it is important to be focused on finances, it doesn’t really matter how much money you spend or save if you are unhappy. It’s worth taking the time to reflect on your happiness. What makes you happy? And what can you do to make it more of a success in the coming year?
Here are some areas you should focus your attention:
Health
Instead of setting ambitious goals for the new year, such as losing weight or going to the gym six days a week, instead set a smaller goal for your health.
- Eat more at home.
- Meal planning is cheaper and healthier than buying meals.
- Make more friends and do more exercise if you have a walking buddy.
- Get a MyFitnessPal app and try calorie tracking to be more aware of what you eat and how you can cut down on calories if it is your goal to lose weight.
- Before the day begins, do some home exercises. It’s affordable or free and it starts your day off right. Use a DailyBurn or fitness blender.
Emotional
- You need to make sure you get enough “me” time. It is essential for everyone. Single moms especially need it. You can use this time for reading, exercise, or simply to scroll through social media. Make it happen.
- Counseling or therapy might be a good option. Sometimes we all need someone to talk with. You might find the best person to talk to is the one whose job it’s to help you. They are qualified and have the experience to help you. They can offer tips, tools, and techniques that will help you get rid of your worst problems and make you the best mother you can.
What makes you happy
- Write down what makes you happy and get more of it. Others might find it in crafting, sewing or reading, traveling, walking their dog, cooking, and spending time with friends.
A happy mom is the key to a happy home. Your kids will not be happy if you’re stressed out and overwhelmed. Focus on you and make sure you get what you want.
Connect with your kids | Single Mother and Son Goals
Make time to spend with your child(ren) every day and weekly. Go on walks, play games, and cook together. Join your child in whatever interests you have. This means that you must be more patient and connect your personal goals to increase your happiness. Without focusing on your own goals and desires, you can’t reach the goal of connecting with children. These personal goals are essential.
Reconnect with old friends, family or find your tribe
You’re not alone, and you shouldn’t feel that way. Single mom life can be difficult. Many people don’t understand or relate. Find your tribe. Do not be afraid to reach out to your family. They love you and know you. Even if they don’t always get it, they know you and love you. You can take advantage of the free sitting to get the time you need to achieve your personal goals. Moms sometimes feel that they cannot ask for sitting except when absolutely necessary. Sometimes, that alone time is essential!
You may have friends you don’t see often due to your busy schedule. This year, make an effort to reconnect with them. Invite them to your messy, chaotic house. They will love to meet you no matter what it looks like. It is possible that some of your closest friends and family members aren’t able to relate to your experiences and struggles. It’s time for you to reach out and discover your single mom tribe.
