Single moms are still looked down on by society. They are more likely than any other parent to be judged when it comes to modern motherhood. This is particularly true for single mothers who have (or had) multiple children with multiple fathers. This judgment is unfair and not warranted. Single mothers are given the short end in motherhood. While single-parent homes are possible with the father being the head of the household, parenting standards for women and men are quite different.
- 1 The Double Standards in Parenting
- 2 Single Mothers with Multiple Fathers Don’t Require Our Judgment
- 3 What Should You Think About If You’re Judging Single Mothers with Single Fathers
The Double Standards in Parenting
Fathers are often praised for doing seemingly simple parenting tasks such as taking their children to the grocery store or accompanying them at a birthday party. It is expected that moms will take their children grocery shopping, and they should be quiet. Single dads get sympathy, while single mothers are criticized. Many people wonder why they are single, and what she did wrong by being single. While it is more acceptable for men to have multiple children, it’s not the same for women. There are two standards.
As the US emerged from World War II, the idea of a perfect US nuclear family was popularized in the 1950s. As subdivisions began to appear in cities across the country, people moved west. Veteran veterans used their GI Bills to build new homes in suburbia. Television helped establish the image of all-American families. Millions of Americans watched sitcoms.
Single Mothers with Multiple Fathers Don’t Require Our Judgment
They are dependent on our support and help. They require empathy and understanding above all else. Being a mom can be hard. You don’t want to make another woman’s motherhood journey more difficult by judging her. It’s been eight years since I became a mother. All that matters to me, is that my child is loved and taken care of.
Single mothers are questioned about their singlehood and judged on all of their choices
Multi-fathered women are treated more harshly. Single mothers are often judged harshly because they didn’t plan for this life. There are many things that can go wrong in a relationship. Spouses die, relationships end and even spouses change their minds. It’s not a Disney-esque dream to have children. Some people find that they don’t want to work as hard and leave. Single moms often don’t receive any child support.
Single moms are not eligible for breaks
They must also make all the difficult decisions on their own. My partner is on a business trip and I feel overwhelmed. This helps me to see the bigger picture. Even if you only have the time to offer friendship and an ear, help a single mom. Their children should be watched so that they can take good care of themselves. The world doesn’t work for single moms, or homes that are run on one income.
Single moms are unfairly judged on the basis of their lives
The world would be better if we all used less judgment and more empathy. We are not enemies, and moms shouldn’t be judged on their marital status.
What Should You Think About If You’re Judging Single Mothers with Single Fathers
Take a break and think
It is important to remember this one thing if you find yourself judged, whether in your head, or out loud. Judging others is not going to make them feel better or change their situation. Also, judging a mother with multiple children from different fathers is not a good idea.
Is your judgment going to change this fact? Do they intend to help moms who might need it? You will find out the answer is no. What you’re going to do is hurt that mom’s feelings by knowing very little about her life, including how she got there. This can help us to stop judging others.
Rethink What a “Good Mom” Is to You
Many of our judgments are based upon what we consider a “good mother.” This is based on our morals, values, and beliefs. It might be time to reconsider what a “good mother” is. However, there really is no right or wrong answer.
We can focus on being the mom we want to be and less worry about other moms. Remember that judging a mother will affect her mental health and impact her parenting, as well as the children.