Last Updated on June 3, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
Solo mom can be straight, gay, lesbians, aged, young, Asian, Hispanic or rich. They (moms) can also be employed and unemployed. Moreover, they come from every culture, background, level, education, passion, skill and allegiance.
Solo Moms can be single moms or moms with joint custody. Grandmothers can also parent their grandchildren. Solo Moms are mothers whose partners are often on the move or live abroad and leave them to take care of most of the parenting.
They are mothers who have chosen to be a single mother, or some are forced to be one because of circumstances. Moreover, solo mom can be the one who adopted, found her/their children in foster care or conceived their children artificially. Some Solo Moms are born out of unexpected circumstances like the death of a partner, surprise pregnancies, or ending of a partnership.
Why Is There a Term “Solo Mom”?
Solo moms are still able to raise their children in a society that views single mothers as second-best, inferior and the source of social problems. Mothers who are able to parent alone feel hurt by the stereotypes and stigma attached to being a “single mother.” They don’t like being called morally lazy, or promiscuous. Even mothers who know better worry that their children will be hurt by their family structure.
To denigrate hardworking moms, the term “single mother” is so common. Solo Mom refers to any mom who chooses to be a single parent, regardless of circumstance. Beside, solo mom is a deliberate dismantling of the stereotype of a single mom.
Let’s forget about the guilt trip and support Solo Moms. We need to recognize that this family arrangement does not have to be dysfunctional or flawed. The vast majority of Solo Moms don’t conform to the stereotype of a “single mother” and are not shackled by it. Many aren’t teen welfare mothers who have babies they don’t want to care for.
Yet, it is all too common for the pernicious stereotype. On the other hand, a “single mother” is proclaimed at cocktail parties or in election speeches, even if doing so is politically or sociologically expedient.
What do Solo Moms want you to know?
No matter where Solo Moms are from or what their upbringing is, there is one thing they all have in common: the responsibility they have to their children. Solo moms make sacrifices for their children’s health and well-being every day. They know their children’s happiness and future success is dependent on them. It can be difficult, stressful, and lonely to assume sole responsibility for the family. This makes single-mother stereotypes all the more frustrating.
These women have shared their stories of working nights, long hours, low wages, no benefits, exhaustion, and difficult work conditions. I also heard about the struggles they had to attend parent-teacher conferences, soccer games and school events. It was worth every penny, according to any mom I spoke with.
They fight for the best for their children, just like everyone else. Solo moms can get cancer, have children with special needs and care for their parents. There are also moms who sacrificed their creative passions to get jobs that provide health insurance. I have also met moms who returned to school to create a better future for their children.
Is There A Way To Support Solo Moms?
Solo moms are faced with the daunting task of parenting alone in a society that offers little guidance or support. We should not make Solo Moms feel inferior or unworthy. Instead, we should celebrate their hard work and fierce desire to provide a loving home for their children.
Solo Moms are worthy of parades and gold stars, but what Solo Moms really require is institutional and political support. They need elected officials who recognize the importance of reliable childcare. Solo mom also requires equal wages for equal work, the right for affordable housing, safe neighborhoods and family leave.
Mothers who choose to parent by their own choice or in the circumstances they find themselves in are strong, but so is their ability to use their resources. As a society, it’s high time to support these women who are busy and demand the respect and support that they deserve.