Last Updated on November 9, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
You are now divorced or separated and you’re trying to figure out how to navigate the world of life. This post is for those who are completely clueless and scared about starting a new life alone. Let’s grab our favorite beverage and get started!
What You Need To Prepare for Starting a New Life Alone?
1. Believe in yourself
This one may be difficult for some because you may have been told all our lives that we are worthless or stupid. But you’re not! Although it might seem impossible, you can do difficult things. Believe in yourself and your abilities.
2. Make a list
A grocery list is not enough. When was the last time that you had a list of items you needed and wanted? You can also make a list of things that are fun.
Write down all the things that you love and haven’t done in a while. Include places you would like to visit, goals and dreams, and anything else you might want to write. Our lives have been put on hold to make others happy, now it’s your turn to enjoy your life.
3. Enjoy your company
Discover who you really are and spend some time doing nothing or random activities alone. Relax, read, grow, expand, and evolve, whatever you have to do, and just do it. You will find joy and beauty everywhere.
Although we think we know who and what we are, in reality we don’t. We’re constantly evolving and becoming better human beings. It is important to learn a lot about yourself to cope with loneliness. You need to discover the good, the bad, and the ugly.
4. Get out of your comfort zone
Say yes to more adventures and new things. Put your fears aside and grab some zip lining cables and any other adrenaline-pumping adventures you might enjoy. Say yes when you are invited to places. You can start a new life by doing the things you have always wanted to do but never tried.
5. Make a list of things to get rid of
People, places, things, whatever. List the things you don’t like about your life right now. You could hate your family, but that’s okay too! It could be your family, or your job, or any other thing. It is time to assess what is working and what is not.
Now that you know what has to go, create a plan for getting rid of it/them! I’m serious. I don’t care whether one of the icky items on your list is your brother, father, or mother. You are an adult and you can say, “You know, I don’t want to be here anymore” or “You know, I don’t really want you around anymore” …”
6. Find and use your voice more
Use your voice, and speak up for yourself. You can say, “You don’t have any right to speak to me like that” a lot more. Repeat the request to ‘please don’t disrespect me like this’ several times more. Refuse to put up with bullies even if they didn’t like it. It wasn’t all about them any more, It’s all about you now.
Do it if you haven’t. Volunteering can change your life in many ways. It’s the people you meet, its opportunities, and the miracles it brings. You will be amazed. Serving others is a way to heal and grow. You should find an organization that appeals to you and give at least one hour per week. If you don’t have at least one hour per week to volunteer, your life will be a disaster. Seriously.
8. Mind map
Now you are starting a new life all by yourself. You are free to do what you like, without any restrictions or limitations. Mind mapping is a great tool for this. Although mind mapping is very similar to the vision board, it’s so much more than that. You can read the mind mapping blog to learn more about how and why it is important. You got goals, you got dreams, you need a plan!
9. Stay off dating sites
We get lonely after a while but you must spend some time with yourself before you look for love again. You can have sex if you want it. But if you don’t care about sex, you won’t attract the same things you got rid of. Be careful when you decide to use online dating sites. Before you go out with someone, make sure that your self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence, self-respect are strong.
10. Learn something new
Learn a language, knitting, swimming or playing the piano. You can learn something new. Many online courses are free. Your brain has been doing the exact same thing over the past years. Give it something new and get excited about your life.
Starting a New Life Alone-scary or exciting?
To many people, moving to a new place is always exciting and unnerving at the same time. As you have the opportunity for a fresh start vs. the insecurities of the unknown. However, moving to a new area alone is a whole different level of overwhelming. Moreover, stepping out of your comfort zone alone is utterly terrifying.
But to others, it’s a chance to find your true self, learn to stand on your own, and build the life you want.
Another step of this journey, much more stressful and scary is when you about starting a new life alone as a single mother. There are different reason for it. Maybe because of divorce, or your partner away.
You are alone, but not all alone! A baby, your child, is beside you. He/she needs you and so do you. This bond gives you strength to conquer any challenges. It also motivates you to teach them to be strong, resilient, and independent as their mother.
Don’t give up, moms! You are the badass single mothers!