Last Updated on October 3, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
A broken relationship, even though it can be brought back, but will never it be the same! So, there are things you should take into account if you think of getting back with your ex!
Single Mom! Please Understand Why You Initially Broke Off
Before you can move on, it is important to think about why your relationship ended. And, why they are your “ex”? Think about why your situation might be different now. Are you still working on these issues? Do they still exist? If so, how do you deal with them now?
It’s important to take the time to see the big picture. Understand your relationship and the changes you have made to ensure you are moving in the right direction. Don’t make decisions solely based on your feelings. They will change, especially over time. If you don’t, you might end up in the exact same place after the initial feelings of new love fade again.
Make Sure You Two Are Getting Back Together With Ex( For the Right Reasons
Although it may seem obvious, each party should consider why they are taking such a big step. We all have different reasons for wanting to be together. You shouldn’t get back together just because you feel lonely or are afraid of losing your partner. There are reasons why your relationship didn’t work out the first go around. Something has to be done differently to make it work again.
It’s great if you have spent time apart, learned to be more present in your relationship, and worked on yourself. It’s easy to romanticize your relationship if you begin missing your partner. It is vital to ensure that each person is returning to the relationship for a reason and that that absence hasn’t cast an unrealistic glittery glow upon the past.
Don’t Expect Everything Would Be Perfect The Second Time Around
You probably had some major problems that led you to realize that you were not great partners in the first place. You can change but people are human. So, they don’t always make the right decisions. Your relationship with your partner will be no different.
Unless an issue is one-dimensional (like someone who was jobless but now has a job), most situations don’t disappear. People don’t change unless they make the effort to change. It is impossible to just say “Let’s just start over.”
The second honeymoon phase will not last if you don’t do the work. Be open about what you want from your relationship. It is crucial that both partners are clear about their goals. And they can also evaluate each other’s ability to meet them. It is important to trust your partner and feel realistic about the expectations you have for them. If your partner doesn’t feel the same, it can lead to conflict.
Don’t Bring The Past Drama Back, We Are NOT Ex-es anymore!
Although it can be tempting for a partner to say things in heated arguments against you, if your relationship is going well, you shouldn’t punish one another for past mistakes.
It is impossible to create a new version in your relationship if you keep holding on to past traumas, drama, or pain. While you will never forget what happened in the past, you can let go of it and create something new in the future. Don’t keep thinking about the time when you are “ex-es”.
Ask for Professional Help If Needed When Getting Back to Your Ex
Professional help may be needed to resolve any unresolved resentments and build a new foundation for safety and trust. A couples counselor can be very beneficial. If you don’t do this, you could miss an opportunity for your partner to learn and improve their communication skills. This is crucial for a happy relationship.
Continue Dating Each Other
Although it is easy to settle back into a routine and get back together, it’s not the best way to ensure your relationship’s success. It is important to continue dating.
Your partner might have changed significantly during that time apart, so you shouldn’t assume you know everything about them. It’s suggested that you remain curious and take the time to get back to know them. It is easy to get caught up in the daily grind, but it is important to give your partner your full attention.
Relationships that thrive and grow require work. It’s not just about periodic work. You need to do consistent work and have systems and structures in place that keep it from stagnant. A weekly date night is one example. Get off your phones and go out for dinner. It doesn’t matter what you do, it is important to keep the commitment. It shows that your relationship is important and gives you security in busy lives by ensuring that you have contact with one another.
Remember That The World Does Not Revolve Around Your Partner
It is important to make your partner a part of your life, not your whole world. This will help you create a healthy relationship and avoid codependency. Time apart has been beneficial for the relationship and could continue to be beneficial in the future.
We all have to take control of our emotions. It is important to recognize that a partner cannot complete you. Your happiness is not in the hands of your partner. It can be painful to realize, even though it is difficult, that you are solely responsible for your emotions and how you feel each day. You can learn to take control of your emotions and be responsible for your self-regulation. This will help you and your partner grow in a better and more fulfilling relationship.
Don’t Fall Back Into Old Habits
No matter how hard you try, it is likely that you or your partner will fall back into the same old patterns that caused the conflict in your first relationship. It is best to be realistic and prepare for that. It’s even more important to recognize the pattern immediately after you see it again.
Just as a disease, you have a better chance of surviving it if you catch it early. It’s tempting to ignore it and avoid dealing with it. Hafeez stated that you must confront it. You can choose to seek professional counseling, or just check in with your partner to discuss the issue. It is important to recognize what’s happening and to remain calm.
Old habits can still be changed. And it’s okay to slip back into them, especially if they were in the first place. Feliciano said that new behaviors need to be practiced consistently in order to become habits. This takes time. Think about ways to change your habits. And also how you can communicate these to one another.