Last Updated on April 24, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
Being a single mother because you had no choice is difficult. It’s always nice to think about how different it would be with a supportive partner. However, things don’t always work out as we hoped they would. Especially when a man leaves you while pregnant!
An ex-husband who tried to go in and out of your life through your pregnancy is hard to swallow. You, hoping it would work out since he would stay with you for a while and continue on being a husband to you. But, sometimes he leaves, won’t show up for days, and won’t even try to contact you.
It’s hard to accept that your marriage isn’t working out anymore. You still try to hold on to that hope that once you give birth to your child, things would go back to normal and he’d see you as someone he can grow old with again. But, that’s not always the case.
This time can be lonely, but please don’t dwell on it. It’s understood that you have questions and are confused. These questions can have legal consequences, and your decisions will impact your child’s future. The following are common questions you ask yourself and what you should do to decide:
- 1 Should the baby have that man’s last name when he leaves you while pregnant?
- 2 Should he be able to re-enter your child’s life at a later date?
- 3 Should you seek child support when a man leaves you while pregnant?
- 4 What to Do To Help Yourself Survive The Separation and When a Man Leaves You While Pregnant
Should the baby have that man’s last name when he leaves you while pregnant?
It is essential to be objective in your reasons for making this decision. There are serious legal consequences when a man leaves you while pregnant. If the father’s name is on the birth certificate and your child has a different surname, it can impact your ability to obtain a passport or travel with your child. Even more severe, the father’s name can be added to the birth certificate, and he can claim his parental rights at any moment. It will be much easier to get child support if your father’s name is on the birth record. Consider the pros and cons of each state’s laws. Remember, the baby’s last name won’t make you love him more or make you do things he doesn’t like.
Should he be able to re-enter your child’s life at a later date?
Fathers have rights, regardless of what happens during pregnancy. A father can decide to re-enter his child’s life, even if it means he is abandoning you both. Please let him know if he is ready to be a reliable, consistent, and responsible parent. For the sake of your child, put aside your problems. I believe that all children should have both parents. There are exceptions, such as domestic and sexual abuse.
Should you seek child support when a man leaves you while pregnant?
Child support is an issue separate from visitation and custody. I am glad that we have court-ordered child support. It’s impossible to predict when your circumstances might change. Child support should be the minimum of what he does.
What to Do To Help Yourself Survive The Separation and When a Man Leaves You While Pregnant
Celebrate The Separation
It doesn’t always have to be a sad and depressing experience. Sometimes, it can be beneficial to end a relationship. You can use your energy and health for your happiness and well-being, which will benefit your baby. You can eat what your body needs and not what your partner likes. Sleep more, exercise, walk or do yoga.
Take time to Heal Yourself
Even if the relationship isn’t working out for you, it cannot be easy to let go of the relationship. It might be even more difficult if you do it while pregnant. This is why you should take the time to process it. Letting the emotions flow is the best way to get through a divorce while pregnant. Let your feelings flow, be vulnerable, and tell your friends. You can also write poetry or listen to sad music. For a brief time, enjoy all the typical emotions of a breakup. Then, when you are ready, you can move on to bigger and better things, like the beautiful bonding experience you have with your baby.
Your Loved Ones Are There For Support
This is the time to have gal pals. Do not think you need to go through the pain of relationship withdrawal all by yourself. It’s okay for you to ask for help. You’ll be amazed at the number of people who will help you get through pregnancy in big or small ways. Reach out to your tribe which could include family members, friends, and neighbors.
Join A Group
You might be wrong if you think you are the only pregno doing it alone. Many single moms-to-be are out there looking for support and community. Look for support groups online or offline that can help to make you feel less alone, and give solid strategies to help you move into the next chapter of your lives with confidence (which you have already demonstrated).
Look For Substitutions
You might have to search for someone to replace your ex depending on the circumstances of your split. If your ex was your birth partner or part of your child’s birth plan, it may be a good idea to ask your best friend to fill in. Make sure you substitute a friend who is nearby and is available.
Try Dating Again
You don’t have to be single just because you have a bump. Once you have dealt with the breakup and emotionally moved on, there’s no rule that says you can not date while you are pregnant. Although it may seem unusual, DWP (dating while pregnant), can be a very exciting phase of your life. You might be surprised at how many men will be drawn to your glow, girl, and your strength.
Don’t Blame Yourself even When a Man Leaves You While Pregnant
There’s no room for blame when you have a growing belly. Sometimes things don’t go according to plan, regardless of how ill-timed. Don’t feel guilty about how things turned out. Please do not be harsh on yourself to choose your partner, get pregnant with that person, or break up with them. This allows you to focus on the most important thing, your and your baby’s well-being.
Even though it may not go exactly as you had hoped, it isn’t the end. It might be the beginning of something extraordinary in your life, which will inspire others, including your baby, to live their truths and do the best they can for them. There are also outside supports, financially and mentally, that you can seek!