Parenthood is surely one of the toughest responsibilities that anyone can face. Being a parent is totally rewarding but it is never easy – and you can just imagine how harder it can actually get for a single mother. Solo parenting is even more demanding, hectic and also stressful for most single moms. However, once you are already in this particular situation, you will have no choice but to be brave and accept the responsibility with everything that you got.

It may be hard at first, or well, who says it is ever easy? But then again, there are still a lot of single mother tips and tricks that you can try to make the most out of your current situation. Whether you are a widow, divorced or a single mother by choice, you can still make this journey enjoyable and successful.

1.) Connecting with your kids

Now that you are a single mother, you will also need to handle a lot of decisions and tasks all by yourself. One of the roles that you need to assert immediately would be as the head of the household. When it comes to your children’s behavior, you will be typically called for it, whether good or bad. You do not want to get overwhelmed with everything that needs to settled, especially how your kids will turn out to be in the future. The best way is to start early and to connect with your kids in as much ways as you can. A strong family routine would be a great help, especially if you can all stick to it. A good example would be setting a curfew time each night or to allocate household chores to everyone in the family.

Make time to help your kids with their homework so you will also have the time and opportunity to get to know them better. You will learn more about their strengths and weaknesses and even their personalities as you get to spend more time with them. A family time will also be better, when you can simply bond and have a great time catching up.

2.) Stop feeling guilty

At one point or another, you will find yourself feeling guilty about everything that has happened, especially if you can see that your kids are negatively affected. The least that you can do for yourself is to stop feeling guilty or embarrassed. You also do not need to feel obliged to spoil your kids just because you think you are not enough for them. Make them understand everything and tell them that while it is not really easy for the most parts, you can still have a happy family together even when you are the only parent left.

3.) Don’t forget to take care of yourself

Yes, you are the sole provider now but that does not necessarily mean that you will stop taking care of yourself. This includes different physical activities that you used to enjoy, as well as getting enough rest and sleep. Keep in mind that since you are now on your own, the more that you have to take care of your health and mental state so that you will always be healthy and stable enough to be there for your family. It also helps a lot to plan or arrange some time that you can spend for yourself, such as going to the spa or getting a full body massage. This will not only allow you to recharge but at the same time lets you value yourself and your wellbeing.

4.) Never be afraid to ask for help

Sure, you are a single mother but that does not mean that you are a superwoman. There would still be times when you will feel alone and depressed and even tired, and in times like these, you do not have to be scared or embarrassed to ask for help. Take note that there are still people around you who would be more than willing to lend a helping hand when you needed it the most. It may also help to join a support group for single mothers like you so you can meet new people with the same situation as yours. This way you will have more people to talk to when you need it.

Don’t forget that you still have your friends and other relatives to help you get through this. These people will be your source of strength, aside of course from your kids.

5.) Staying positive

There is nothing wrong with feeling tired or depressed, but then again, don’t let that feeling get the best of you. Remember that you have to keep going for the sake of your kids. As a single mother, you have to always look at the brighter side. Stay away from negative thoughts as those will only bring you down.

 Budget is one of the most essential factors that you will have to worry about when you are a single mother. You have to admit that raising children is quite expensive and there is no way to negotiate on that. Since it is only you who will be providing for the whole family, it can be quite a tricky task to handle finances and budgeting. You will need to consider a lot of things, especially when you know that there is no one else to turn to in times of financial emergencies.

A typical single mother with an average income would find it tough to always make both ends meet. Stress and problems would arise here and there and if you are not prepared enough to face all of it, you might just find yourself struggling. That is why we have come up with these tips and strategies that you can try on how a single mother can save money. Not only will these tips help you in keeping up with all the financial responsibilities, but it will also teach you and your kids the importance of knowing how to properly manage your finances.

Creating a monthly budget

Before anything else, it is recommended to first know where you are spending your money. This way, you can become more committed into setting a specific monthly budget or allowance for everything. Start by listing down all your expenses and monthly dues including bills, transportation, food, housing, child care and education for your kids. After you have determined the portions that you need to allot for all these, then you will be able to know how much is left for you to spend and save each month.

You will also need to monitor your spending and evaluate how much you spend for each expense. Doing this can also help you find ways to cut back and see if you can try an alternative that can help you save more money. A good example would be switching to an internet plan that costs less or canceling a particular membership that you think you don’t essentially need at all.

Shopping wisely

When it is time to go out and buy groceries and other supplies, try to bring a list with you so you will already know what to buy. This does not only save you time, but more so, allows you to concentrate only on what is essential. Don’t forget to always compare prices and keep discount coupons for future shopping purposes. Remember that your goal is to spend lesser than what you used to.

You may also want to consider shopping online because it is easier to find good deals and online sales all the time. Sites such as Amazon, eBay and Craiglist would always offer products and services that are often more affordable and better than what you can avail on actual stores.

Saving on utilities

One of the essential things that you’ll have to pay for every month would be the utility bills. Although this is something that you cannot live without, you can still find ways on how to conserve and save money in the long run. For example, you can teach your kids to always turn off the lights when not in use. They also need to learn more about conserving water like when they are brushing their teeth or washing the dishes. Not only will these simple acts lead to saving more on utilities, you are also teaching your kids valuable lessons on how to be more responsible and obedient.

Paying your bills on time

As you go about setting a monthly budget and monitoring your expenses, make sure that you do not forget to always pay the bills on time. This will not only help you keep your records clean and organized, but at the same time lets you save more by avoiding late fees and charges. One practical and convenient move that you can take is to set up automatic payments through your bank for payments such as your mortgage and monthly rent. If you have credit cards, you should aim to always pay the minimum balance required to avoid extra charges.

Setting up an emergency fund

Aside from saving money, you will also need to stay prepared at all times, especially financially. This is why you should at least have a backup plan or an emergency fund that you can use when an unexpected situation occurs. Being a single mother, you will most likely have no one to turn to during difficult times so you will have to be really careful when it comes to staying responsible and committed. This fund will also be your safe ground if in case you lose your job in the future or anything of that sort.

Single but wiser

Being a single mother is not easy. You will have to deal with almost everything on your own, with your kids by your side. Of course you have to stand up for them and face the responsibility, but it will be much easier if you are financially capable to do so. That is why it is very necessary that you are wiser when it comes to financial matters.

Setting out to find a reliable babysitter is often difficult but when you do find a good one, you will feel a burden lifted off you.

Today, we will look at some tips that you can use to find a reliable babysitter for your kids.

1. Personal recommendations.

One fast way of finding a reliable babysitter is by asking from friends and families. Recommendations go a long way in solving problems like this. The reason is that you want someone that has been used in the past and that delivered. You can also enquire from colleagues and yoga pals which sitters they have used or which one they would recommend. a sitter being recommended doesn’t mean the sitter will be the right candidate for your family as families differ in structure and needs but you do want to get qualified leads into the door that have been vetted by other people. A good example, you might feel nervous about having a 20-year old care for your baby while another family might be totally cool with it. So, ask questions about the sitter to know what they are all about before you even call them and don’t feel pressured to hire anyone just because they were recommended.

2. Organizations you trust

There are some reliable organizations all across the city where you live and even on the internet that you can use. Moms on the Bumps is one organization with message boards for where you can get advice. Some people hire their babysitters from their place of worship because these people would have been vetted and trained plus your child already knows them well and will be comfortable with them if they do get hired.

3. Websites and Agencies

If you still can’t find someone that you are comfortable with, you can check out sitter websites and agencies such as care.com or sittercity.com to find picks that will suit your needs. These websites and agencies also provide the experiences of each sitter and the type of children they have worked with in the past. These websites run background checks but it’s often basic. If you want to hire a sitter whose background has been properly vetted, you might want to look at a local nanny agency doing the work for you.

Will they be a Good Sitter?

once you’ve found some leads and are ready to interview them to know who will be suitable for your needs, there are a couple of questions that you should ask them which will reveal the things listed below to know if the sitter will be a good or terrible hire.

1. They come with good references. Your child’s safety should not be negotiated. Your sitter should have references and their references should be people you can reach over the phone and not just on the email. Call them up and ask about the service and claims the babysitter made.
2. Well trained

Did they get training before starting or during their career as a babysitter? Anyone with special skills like CPR and first aid is a bonus for you. This ensures your baby is in safe hands especially in times of an emergency.If you do find one that you like without these extra skills, you could suggest they take a class or better still, hire them and pay for the classes or offer higher rates if they can take the classes before starting with you.

3. Time Conscious

When you call them for the interview – when did they show up? You want a babysitter who shows up on time. If they can’t even show up on time at the first meeting, how are you sure they will show up when you have to go on a date? Lateness could mean anything but oftentimes, it is a sign of irresponsibility.

4. Interaction

Monitor how they relate to your child. Let them spend more than a minute with your baby before you hire them. You should pay for this as well. Ask them to come around for a short session where they will observe and interact with your baby. This way you can monitor how your baby interacts with them. This also allows the child to get used to the new person the next time they come visiting. She should be able to reach out and engage with your child – this is where your intuition needs to be on fire for you to decide if they are worth hiring for a full-time or they should be dismissed.

5. Your Child

If your child is old enough, ask him how he felt about the sitter. Ask about what happened, how they felt when this occurred, what they thought about the new person etc. Of course, asking if they love the new person that will be taking care of them when mommy is not around, will not bring a positive response. But, question them so you can get an insight into how the sitter spent their time with your kids.

Payment

Once you are settled with the sitter, you will need to decide on the amount to pay them. The typical rate varies from $10-$15 an hour, with $10 being for a student who is trying to make extra income and $15 for a professional with the right references and skills for the job. These prices are not cast in stone though, as they vary from location, experience, and your budget.

Expectation

Before the sitter starts, be sure you lay out some ground rules on do’s and donts. These could include anything from bringing in guests to your home or texting on the job. It’s your child and your house plus you’re paying them for their time, so lay out the ground rules for them.