relationship rules

11 Essential Relationship Rules

Last Updated on November 28, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt

To guide competitors, keep them on the right track, prevent them from making mistakes, and to avoid penalties, all organized sports have ground rules. Rules are also good for relationships and marriages to prevent couples making life-altering, serious mistakes. However, remember to not over-control your relationship by conditioning many rules.

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Relationship Rules That You Might Need To know

The First One In Relationship Rules: Never, Ever Curse At Each Other

Calling your partner a curse word is a sign of contempt. You can’t erase the hurtful words you have spoken from your partner’s mind with all your post-curse apologies. They will likely repeat them in another argument. This is the first point in our relationship rules.

Don’t Make Threats, Conditional Or Otherwise

Don’t Make Threats

Saying things such as “You don’t have the guts or courage to leave!” or “I dare you to try and get along without me!” can put the other person in a position where he or she has to make a decision about whether or not to leave you. 

Conditional threats — “If I do or don’t do this, then that ” — are big no-no in relationships. These threats can be a great way to make doubts in the partner’s mind regarding the future of the relationship. Most threats do not lead to positive behavior change, particularly if the other party fears they will be heard again.

Don’t Bring Up Partners From The Past

The third point in relationship rules is don’t compare, or don’t be passive aggressive. It is hurtful to be compared unfavorably with another “better” partner, boyfriend, girlfriend or husband. It is not uncommon to hear, “I should’ve stayed with …”” or “I should’ve married …”.” These are harsh things to hear.

Don’t Keep Score, Especially For Trivial Things

When it comes to addressing your current problems, saying things like “You gave me a terrible birthday present three years ago!” is not helpful. Keep your eyes on the present is one of our relationship rules. Your partner may find it difficult to defend themselves for something they failed to bring up months ago, or even years ago. It is unfair to expect them to do this.

Don’t Use Sweeping Generalizations Like “You Always…” Or “You Never…”

These statements can be hurtful, as both parties know they are false. It is not common to say things like, “You never complimented me on my clothes!” or “You don’t listen when I talk about my problems at work.” These are things your partner knows, even though they may not have done enough. It’s better to say “It makes me feel better when you compliment me” or “Can your full attention be given when I discuss what’s bothering me at work?”

Don’t Argue In The Bedroom Is Funny, But It’s Helpful As One Of Relationship Rules

This is a simple fix, but it’s an important one. You should use your bedroom for sleeping, snacking and watching TV. That’s it. It must be a place of peace. Fights in the bedroom can make it a place of conflict and create a negative energy that is difficult to overcome.

Don’t Go To Bed With Unresolved Issues

It is almost impossible to sleep next to someone who you are angry at. So we propose 2 ways for you to “sleep on” the disagreements.

Don’t Go To Bed With Unresolved Issues
Don’t go to bed angry, just go to your own space!

Depends on a situation, you can solve your problems for as long as you need and then declare a peace agreement at least until the next morning.

On the other hand, if the problem can’t be solved and your partner wants a space to “dwell” on it, leave them! You can take your pillow, take your blanket, and sleep on the sofa or another room (if possible). It’s better to talk when both of you are cool and calm, rather than amplify the problem, which might lead to yelling and shouting. Again, the first point in relationship rules is DON’T curse (or be angry).

Don’t Give Someone The Silent Treatment Longer Than One Day

Some people can give their partner the silent treatment for several weeks. This creates tension that can make daily life difficult. It is tedious and sad to sit in a hallway for hours without saying anything. This usually leads to more arguments. (Also, similar acts like door slamming and stomping about are childish.

Don’t Yell In Front Of Your Kids (Or Pets)

Children and pets are terrified by the noises you make when screaming at one another. These sensitive animals are easily scared of disruptions to their routines, especially if they don’t know why. Moreover, a child growing up in an environment where their parents keep shouting at each other, may end up picking the traits of tantrum and anger.

Don’t Say Mean Personal Things

When arguments get out of hand, it’s not uncommon for angry couples to try to hurt one another. Picking on the person you can’t control (baldness or fading beauty), trying hard to control (weight, fitness level) or being sensitive about (certain body parts, sexual performance) is one way to do it. These examples, like curse words, will be saved and brought back at a later date.

Last One In Relationship Rules, Don’t Throw Things When You’re Angry

You can easily let things get out of control when your partner or you start to lash out at one another in anger. In real life, this is not like romantic comedies that are shown on big screens. Instead, it leads to the partners laughing at each others and then getting into bed for some make-up sex. 

Throwing things at someone can cause an escalated fight, or worse, and even criminal charges, if the injuries are severe enough. It is a bad idea to hold your partner’s phone in front of his or her face.

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