Winter can be cumbersome to some people, especially to single mothers. As a matter of fact, some single moms find this time of the year more stressful and overwhelming, making it more difficult for them to cope with common issues of being a single parent. However, with the right know-hows, guidelines, and time-saving tips, holidays can become more fun, delightful, and practical. Below indicates a feasible plan for winter as a single mother.

Coping with the Blues of Winter Holidays

It’s okay not to feel okay during the holidays, given your difficult situation. You may not realize it, but there are more people out there feeling as lonely and pained as you. So what’s the best thing to do? Don’t feel guilty about acknowledging your feelings. Do not put pressure on yourself and pretend. Release your burden and say, “I am not in the mood to celebrate”. Try it and see how it frees you from within.

Making the Holidays Fun

Most of the time, going out can bring back the holiday cheer. But what if you’re stuck at home with your child? Bond with your kids by trying out some of these activities:

• Try snow-sledding together.
• Make paper snowflakes.
• Enjoy cups of hot chocolate together.
• Start a snowball fight.
• Draw the winter view.
• Buy a miniature shovel and have your kid help you on clearing the driveway.
• Mix coloring into water, pour them into bottles, and use them to write letters in the snow.
• Make a snowman together.
• Build a little house using boxes and sheets.
• Draw pictures of one another.
• Watch snowfall by the window together.
• Make snow angels outside.
• Make winter crafts with your child.

Holiday Scheduling

Like it or not, your ex will always have a say on decision-making with your child, especially for events like the holidays. Here, arguments are inevitable so if you want to win the discussion, you want to know these pointers first and foremost.

1. Come up with a parenting plan that agrees to your family’s holiday schedule.
2. Anticipate a “yes” or a “no”. Know that your holiday plan is just that – a plan. So it’s best to prepare yourself for either a positive or negative reaction.
3. Decide on what you exactly want. Don’t be too general or contradicting your ex’s plans so he will have a hard time is not really a good thing to do. Instead, be specific on what you really like. For example, if you like your kid to be part of a family party, be sure to discuss it with your ex.
4. State your goals well. Nothing beats being honest, especially when you have to talk things over with an ex. If you have certain reasons for the schedule change, explain them fairly well to establish a positive negotiation.
5. Know your ex’s plans. Of course, his plans matter as well. This is to avoid any possible schedule conflict. Know their goals or other things that matter to them. Show them you have respect and that you appreciate the time he spends with your children.
6. Stay calm. Always listen what your ex have to say. Do not cut off what he is saying, even if you’re dying to disagree.
7. Try to make a compromise. For example, you want to take the kids out but it’s your ex’s schedule to spend time with them. In this scenario, you can suggest a solution, say, give up some of your time on a different day. This way, you both can get what you want.
8. Spare the kids. You don’t realize it, but it’s most probably best that you don’t tell the change of plans with your child. This is because you and your ex’s issues will only put pressure on your kids, ruining their optimistic idea of the holidays. Let your kids be and keep them out of the negotiation.
9. Don’t let your kids decide by themselves. It’s not really ideal to let your kids choose between mommy and daddy. This will put too much responsibility on their hair. You and your ex are the grown-up ones so act like it by showing willingness to negotiate.

Final Tips

Holidays are more fun and soothing when you don’t feel any pressure on your child, former partner, as well as your wallet. To curb too much holiday spending, make sure that you don’t use your credit card for buying gifts. Think about the 20% interest they put into your purchases. Cliché as it is, it’s the thought that really counts so an inexpensive gift with “I love you” or “Thank you” will suffice.

As for your children, with sales here and there, it’s easy to give in to their desires each time they see something amusing. However, it’s better to teach your children that being thoughtful doesn’t have to cost too much. What matters is that we appreciate the gift and we show the person that we truly cherish their presence on our lives.

Having a child of your own is not at all an easy job – it takes a lot of guts, energy, hard work and so much more before you can call yourself a mature and successful parent. Just imagine how harder it can get for single moms, being left alone with no one to count on. You have to work for your living, take care of your kid and of the house all by yourself.

Truth be told, being a single mom with no family is quite a challenge. How do you survive? Can you even get back up after what you may consider as the hardest fall of your life? Whether you just came out of a stressful divorce or perhaps the father of your child just decided to abandon you and leave you for good, here are some survival tips that you can pick up and remember while getting by.

What you can do

1. Start moving forward

By this time, you have probably undergone the process of blaming yourself and feeling so bad about the split or the divorce you just went through. Whether it is really your fault or not, there is no longer a necessity to cry over spilt milk and think of what could have been. Though it is always easier said than done, as they say, it won’t hurt if you would start thinking of moving forward and leaving everything behind. By doing this you can then be at peace with your past and the present, too. It does not have to be a quick process, because obviously it is not and it will never be. Learn to give yourself the time and space that you need to think things over and hopefully it can enlighten you and lead you to a more positive path.

2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Though you are now on your own, this does not have to essentially mean that you no longer can ask help from other people. Even when you no longer have a family to depend on, remember that you still have your friends and other relatives to consider as your family. More importantly, you have your kid with you, which reminds you that you are not alone and that you and your kid can still be a family if you want to. There is nothing wrong with asking for help especially if you are just starting anew. This can also be a good way to rekindle your relationship with the people around you and to also re-establish your communication with them.

3. Keep yourself busy

With everything that has happened, you are surely having a lot of emotions and often in the verge of crying or breaking down. Things like this cannot be helped, but you can do something about it if you really want to. The best thing that you can do is to keep yourself busy – in a good way. You can focus more on your job and try your best to do better. You can also spend more quality time with your kid and at the same time keep your bond even more alive and stronger. Some single moms would join support groups and discussions just so they can stay busy and positive. If you are at home, try not to just sit in one corner and think about a lot of things. You can redecorate your house, clean your bedroom, rearrange the furniture or maybe start building a greenhouse or a garden if you have the space. Come up with anything useful so you can keep yourself busy and occupied.

4. Focus on your kids, but don’t forget about yourself, too

Now that you are a single mom with no family, you are surely planning to prioritize the welfare of your kids and what you can do to make them feel safe and secure even without a dad at home. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact, it is a good thinking. But then, make sure you are not forgetting about your own sake, too. Even when you are too busy with work and other stuff, remember that you also need some alone time to enjoy and to relax. This will help you stay organized and peaceful despite all the challenges and hardships of being a single mom.

Life as a single mom

At first you may think that being a single mom is probably the worst thing that can happen to anyone, but as days go by, you will realize that it can get better. It is not easy but when you are able to get by, you will realize how rewarding and self-fulfilling it can be, especially when you start to see your kids happy and contented despite everything that has happened. At the end of it all, you will turn out to be a strong, independent and motivated woman that any mother would wish to be.