Things Your Partner Should Never Say To You

Last Updated on January 22, 2024 by Lori Pace

You should not let your partner say certain things to you. Not because you are unable to forgive them, but because they hurt and can leave scars in your mind. Hurtful words to someone you love can cause damage to the relationship. It can affect their mental health, and reduce their trust in you. In this article, we suggest you consider these things that your partner should never say to you.

Avoid saying inappropriate words in a relationship if you want to create a lasting and strong relationship . Here is the problem. People often throw around words without realizing the right things to say to their partner. They end up causing irreparable harm to their relationships. We’ll be showing you how to repair a relationship after you have said hurtful things to your partner.

Things Your Partner Should Never Say To You To Suppress Your Emotions

Shut up 

“Shut up” can sound trivial, and it can be easily forgotten when you’re angry or frustrated. You should not tell your partner to “shut up” because it is harsh and could easily be misinterpreted to mean something deeper.

You may be asking your partner to remain silent and listen to you firing off a fight, but shutting up can be rude, impolite and considered profanity by some.

Extreme circumstances may cause your partner to interpret it as a derogatory comment. This could indicate that you don’t value their contribution at the moment. You should never tell your spouse “Shut up”.

Calm down 

This is another term you might be tempted to use in a fight with your partner. Although it may not mean anything to you, your partner can easily interpret this expression as dismissive and demeaning of their emotions and feelings. It may seem to some that you are trying to invalidate their emotions.


It can be extremely rewarding for you to give your partner the cold shoulder when they are trying to get your attention about something. This can be hurtful for them and could prevent them from reaching out to your future if you are experiencing emotional, mental, or physical distress.

The worst thing about silent treatment isn’t its immediate effect on your relationship. It’s the fact that it can cause frustration and anger which will in turn eat away at your relationships. You should tell your partner if you need to take some time for yourself and think.

I don’t care 

I don’t care 

This is something your partner shouldn’t say to you. Hearing “I don’t care” from someone supposed to be your best friend can cause the fear of abandonment to rise and slowly erode a relationship.

Even if it’s not your intention, you should try to avoid saying it to your partner, especially if they are talking about something important to you.

You are selfish! 

Let’s face facts. There will be a time when things go wrong in your relationship. But, just because things aren’t going according to plan doesn’t mean your partner is selfish and doesn’t care about you.

“You are selfish” should not be said to your partner (and you shouldn’t say it to them either). This is an act of betrayal in a relationship and implies that you don’t appreciate the sacrifices they have made for your relationship.

You are wrong to be angry

Ever been in a fight? Did you get into it with your partner, and then had them tell you the truth? This is not only something your partner should never say, but it also implies that your partner is trivializing their feelings and that you want to absolve them from all rights to express themselves. You can’t wait to see if your partner behaves unreasonably.

Things Your Partner Should Never Say To You About Your Relationship

Let’s Have A Divorce 

This is something your partner should never say. Because you might not mean it, this is a deeply hurtful way to use the word on your partner. If you suggest that you want a split, it is a sign that your marriage is becoming painful and you are ready to leave. Even if you don’t mean it, it can affect trust and cause your spouse to second-guess the whole marriage.

Things Your Partner Should Never Say To You About Your Relationship
When your mind is not clear, it’s easy to say hurtful things.

I wish I never met you 

This can be very damaging and may even cause your partner to withdraw from the relationship. You may find that your partner withdraws from you and your relationship if you use this expression. This can lead to friction and cracks in your relationship that will only get worse over time.

I wish you (or we) could be like… 

This is why it should not be said to your partner. It is an egregious expression of an unhealthy rival. It can make your partner feel like they don’t have enough and threaten their relationship. Over time, this can lead to a loss of trust and a withdrawal from the relationship.

Comments That Your Partner Should Never Say To You

You have become fat

This is not a joke and can cause serious mental problems for your partner. Making fun of someone’s body type could lead to a decline in self-esteem and self-confidence. Telling your partner they are fat is not only hurtful but also a negative thing for their mental health.

You are crazy 

This is a very nasty thing to say and one you shouldn’t ever tell your partner. This could be interpreted as a statement that you are judging someone’s ability to reason/judgment. Instead of telling them they are crazy, it is a good idea to spend some time getting to know them and why they feel this way.

You don’t turn me on anymore 

This would be the worst thing you could say to your partner if your relationship is sexually active . This comment can be problematic because if you make it a habit of hurling it at your partner, they might feel inadequate or try to compensate for any sexual incontinence. 

Things Your Partner Should Never Say To You To Blame You

I hate you 

I hate you 
“I hate you!”, but you don’t mean it.

When said in anger, when tempers flare during an argument, “I hate you” can convey animosity or bitterness towards your partner. This statement could be misinterpreted depending on your partner’s personality and how critical they are. It may also suggest that you regret spending time with them or that the time you spent together was a waste.

Even if tempers are calm, your partner might have doubts about your relationship. This could be the beginning of trust issues.

Your parents are the reason for… 

It is easy to transfer the blame to someone you don’t like or approve of when you are in a relationship. Sometimes you might have a valid reason to throw this at your partner. However, if they were raised by difficult parents, they may be suffering from the after-effects.

This is because it can remind someone (especially your partner) of how difficult it was growing up with parents like them and bring back painful memories. However, if you say this to your partner, it can cause them to go into defensive mode and choose between their parents or you.

You never… 

This is a tendency to say it when your partner displays an attribute that you want, but they don’t have (as you would like). This is why your partner shouldn’t say it to you. It is a generalized statement which may discredit the times they did the same thing for you.

This can quickly become a way to invite your partner to fight you. They will want to be reminded of all the times that they have done what you accuse them of.

What have you ever done for me? 

You’re insinuating to your partner that they are evil and have no good intentions. This is one of the most hurtful things you can say to your partner. It trivializes all their efforts and sacrifices to keep you comfortable and make the relationship work.

It is a better way to get their attention in times of need than to simply politely and clearly describe what you expect of them in a particular situation. This should be done when you’re not annoyed or irritated by them.

You are my biggest mistake 

When doubts begin to creep in about your relationship, you may say these things to your partner. This could be due to fights or other situations that arise over time. You should not tell your partner that they are your greatest mistake. This statement can be hurtful and cause your partner to wonder if they ever lived with them.

Even if you are angry at your partner, some words are better left in your head. This thought may come to mind if you ever have it. These are the things you shouldn’t say to your partner, and those you shouldn’t say to your partner.

It’s your fault that… 

This is one statement that you should not make to your partner when they are in the middle of an argument. When you tell your partner something is their fault , you are shifting the blame to them and seeking to absolve yourself.

Even if they were a significant factor in the negative outcome that you are experiencing, it is still your responsibility to communicate with them. It is important to communicate your feelings to them diplomatically.

Fixing a Relationship After Throwing Hurtful Words to Each Other

Acknowledge The Fact That You Have Made A Mistake 

Acknowledge The Fact That You Have Made A Mistake 
The very first step to fix a mistake is to admit it.

You must admit your mistake when your temper is calmed down. You won’t be able to admit you made a mistake by hurting your partner .

Recognize Your Mistakes

It is important to admit that you made mistakes and not just tell yourself. Do not try to justify your actions or find excuses. Honestly admit that you said some hurtful words to them.


“I’m sorry” can do wonders for your partner. You can apologize to your partner and be sincere while you’re at it.

Accept That Your Relationship May Have Permanently Changed

These words could leave a lasting mental scar on your partner if you say any of them. You should now admit that your relationship might have changed. It is possible that they are trying to distance themselves from you or putting up barriers. Do not pressurize or force them to change. Allow them to set the pace for the relationship going forward.

Make A Mental Note Never To Repeat Past Mistakes

Let the past go, where it belongs, in the past. Then, move on with your lives. Take the lessons from these experiences and vow to never say hurtful things to your partner ever again.

Lori Pace
Lori Pace

Lori Pace is a single mother of three daughters ages 7 and under. As a working mom from home, she balances kids, work and two crazy dogs with humor and love. Follow Lori as she honestly gives tips and advice based on her own experiences as a single mom!