Last Updated on September 15, 2021 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
Starting a new relationship as a widow can be extremely challenging, especially when children are involved. Sometimes, you might even feel it’s impossible to move on or feel comfortable with the idea. But the fact that you are here shows signs that you may be ready to give love another chance.
We all deserve love or at least the possibility of getting love. Dating as a single mom is like searching for a second chance – you never know if you don’t try. Don’t forget why you want to date – happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy, and your kids will want you to be happy as well.
Beginning a New Relationship as a Widow:
The decision to go back into the dating game should not be taken lightly.
It would help if you considered a couple of things when dating as a single mother. These things are necessary if you want to have a successful relationship while still retaining the trust and love of your kids.
Before considering dating as a single mum, you need to ask yourself if you are emotionally available. It’s crucial you know if you’re ready mentally and physically before jumping into the dating pool. It would be best if you did not go into a new relationship as a form of grieving.
It will take time to get over the loss of your spouse, and you should only consider dating someone else when you’re ready. No one can determine when you’re ready, except yourself. It could take months or even years, but no matter how long it takes, you need to decide when you want to try dating again.
Do you have the time?
Thinking about yourself is critical when you’re going into a relationship, and it can be normal to forget about the other person. Someone else’s feeling is involved, and it takes two to tango.
You don’t want to get into a relationship with someone by making them excited only to find out you don’t have the time to be with them or follow through. Even if you’re busy, not having the time to check up invest in the relationship could be a big let-down for even the most patient of men.
What do you desire?
You need to ask yourself what you’re looking for. Are you searching for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?
Sometimes, single mothers who lost their spouse to a sickness or an accident could go into dating hoping to replicate their old spouse. This is a recipe for disaster as there are no two alike. This is a substantial learning experience that you need to take into account.
You have a better experience of the kind of person that will be suitable for you going forward and the ones that are toxic to you. You shouldn’t just think of things you wished were different from your last marriage. It would help if you also thought of new ways to make things work.
Getting answers to questions like this means you have to take responsibility and own up to your mistakes. You can figure out if you want to change these details about yourself and enter a new relationship with a clean slate.
Dating will be different.
When you’re a single mom, dating will be different for you.
You won’t just be looking for a suitable guy for you, but you will also be looking for the right guy for your family. This means he needs to handle your kids and your kids need to accept him. His morals need to be similar to yours, and he needs to step up as a father figure for your kids as well.
A potential suitor should also be comfortable knowing that you are bound to another person for life since you share kids with them. If they can’t respect that or have reservations, you should let them go as there are bound to be problems in the future. If he is possessive at the early stage, that’s your red flag.
Starting a new relationship as a widow will have an impact on your kids. Even casual dating or one-night stands will not feel the same, and sometimes, you might feel you’re cheating on your kids, especially when you’re making out in your home when they are in school with their toys sitting around the house. What you need to remember at this stage is that apart from being a great mother, you have to be a human being as well.
You can do this.
Remember that dating a guy as a single mother means you’ve managed to get your pieces together. You’re no longer confused – now you know what you want because you’ve been there. You’re searching for someone to fit into the life you’ve built. Your desires are more specific than when you were single without kids.
Also, you have the opportunity to start afresh. You will also learn how your kids welcome or cannot welcome a new person into their lives and if they prove to be stubborn, remember that they are only worried about what it might mean for their relationship with you. It doesn’t mean they hate you. It only means they are scared.
Starting a new relationship as a widow should not be as scary as it is being made out to be. As long as you follow the rules and carry your kids along every step of the way – you’ll be fine.