Last Updated on September 15, 2023 by Lori Pace
It is difficult to deal with manipulators, especially a master manipulator. First, most people don’t realize that they are being manipulated. The best manipulators are extremely covert. Sometimes it takes years of research, feeling insane, and a lot of remorse before we realize that we are being manipulated. Your mother, your father or spouse could be the manipulator. To deal with a master manipulator, the first step is to recognize you are dealing with one.
Recognizing A Master Manipulator
To deal with a manipulator, it is important to recognize that you are with one. You can only do this by being aware of your feelings and self-awareness. These are the common emotions you’ll feel when you spend time with this person:
- You feel defensive.
- You feel guilty.
- It is difficult to feel lost.
- It is easy to feel angry and you have to work hard to stay calm.
- You feel trapped.
- These seem to create a sense of obligation in you.
- When you think about being with this person, or with them, you feel anxious.
- You attempt to solve the problem to please the unhappy person, but you can’t seem to find the solution.
Observe Your Manipulator And Identify Their Patterns
He appears to be the victim while you are the one who is responsible for all of the relationships. Your manipulator will pout and sulk quite a bit. Then, without saying anything, you begin trying to repair any damage, while not being able figure out why. You feel powerless and ineffective. You feel frustrated that you are unable to solve the problem.
They use implication as their primary tool. They will resort to any means necessary to get you to feel responsible and happy. It is a powerful tool. It’s not obvious, it’s subtle and underhand. They believe you are responsible for their misery.
They also use the incessant and persistent request tool a lot. This can cause you to lose your cool. To get you to do or be something for them, they will try to open the back, side, front, and window doors. They don’t respect your boundaries and your personhood.
A Relationship With A Master Manipulator
A relationship with a master manipulator can be dangerous and unhealthy. This puts you in a double situation. Being a normal person who is used to following the rules can make it difficult for you to work with your loved one.
The gift you laboriously searched for to get this person a gift didn’t generate the kind of appreciation you expected. It was so exciting to finally find the perfect gift for them, but they still look at it with disappointment.
Clever Strategies That A Master Manipulator Uses To Keep You Under Their Control
Manipulation is about control. The manipulator will control you. Their methods are generally successful. Many people spend their whole lives trying to please manipulative family members. Sometimes the manipulator gives you some positive reinforcement to keep you coming back for more.
You may be happy for them, and they will appreciate the rare opportunity to please you. It’s a great feeling to finally get it right. This makes you want to try again, so your inner child’s excitement and dopamine rise will be satisfied. We feel more motivated to work harder when we don’t get consistent reinforcement. The prize is so high and rare.
Tips To Help You Avoid Being Manipulated
- Self-knowledge is key to your success. You will be able to identify who you really are and stop others from trying to convince you otherwise. Don’t let anyone, especially the manipulator, tell or suggest to you who it is.
- When you encounter your manipulator, develop compassion for yourself.
- Imagine a thick barrier covering your heart and mind. Let their words slip right past the barrier.
- You have the same rights as your manipulator. This means that you can enjoy the night without feeling guilty. If necessary, you can walk away and find someone to talk to who will help you feel calm.
- Pay attention to how you feel. You can set some guidelines to help you deal with any emotions that arise. If you feel defensive, afraid, angry, frustrated, angry, or scared when dealing with this person, don’t engage in conversation. Instead, quickly excuse yourself and move on to a different location. Avoid engaging in the madness that is inevitable when dealing with manipulators.
- Spend more time with people who are kind and easy-going, who care about you as you are.
Challenge Your Belief System When Dealing with A Master Manipulator
Your manipulator may be a parent. If so, you’ve been brainwashed from birth. You can overcome this psychological training by challenging your beliefs. Ask yourself challenging questions to rewire your thinking.
It doesn’t matter how difficult it may be to overcome the brainwashing or implications of a manipulator. Your belief system is the key. To live in healing from abuse like this, you must be committed to the truth.
You can live in truth for the rest of your life if you are committed to self-care. You can counter cognitive dissonance and educate yourself by immersing yourself in reality. Learn how to read, talk, and write and set boundaries for your mental and emotional well-being.