So you’ve been spending time with someone who you really seem to hit it off with and the two of you decide that you want to take your relationship to the next level and become a couple.
If you followed my advice, you have waited to introduce your child to your new man until you were sure that you were serious. Now that you are ready, it may be a bit confusing as to how to introduce the two.
Here are some tips on how to introduce your child to your new boyfriend.
Tell your child
It is necessary to prepare your child for what is going to happen. You definitely don’t want it to be a surprise. Let your child know that you are want to introduce them to someone who is a special friend. It is not necessary to go into details because you want things to be as casual as possible.
Don’t do it in a one-on-one setting
It is much better to introduce your child in a group setting. Throw a BBQ or maybe plan a day at an amusement park. The goal is to introduce them in a fun, casual setting where there is no pressure on the two to have to talk or get along. Also make sure that you aren’t showing affection during the initial introduction, remember, this is casual situation and you don’t want your child to see that yet.
Take your time
Watch your child for cues if they are feeling your man or not. Sometimes, you child may be a little standoffish and may not want to interact with your man. It can be an awkward situation and both your man and your child may feel unsure of what to say to the other.
Their initial meeting may not be a slam dunk and that’s okay. The key is to keep the lines of communication open with your child and make sure that you are asking them how they feel, what they think, if they have any questions, etc.
Don’t force a “New Dad” Situation
Make sure that your child understands that your boyfriend is not taking the place of their dad and that they are a friend. Depending on the age of your child or if their father is a part of their lives, if they really hit it off with your boyfriend, some kids may want to call him dad. I would advise against that.
Explain that your boyfriend is a friend and that your boyfriend in not a replacement for their father. Now, down the line this may be a little more appropriate but you don’t want to implement titles in the beginning or to freak out your boyfriend, so early in the game.
Don’t have expectations
Don’t expect that your child will love your new man right off the bat and that all of you will be a happy family. Don’t force your child to interact with your man. Everything needs to flow in whatever manner it will. You can’t control if they will hit it off and it has to be genuine.
Also remember that it will may take several interactions for your child to start to feel comfortable around your new man and that your man has to put some effort into getting to know your child, as well. The key is making sure everyone feels comfortable and hopefully, as time goes on, your man and your child will become good friends.