Having a child of your own is not an easy job at all, but being a single mom with no help or support system – it’s a lot to handle. It takes a lot of guts, energy, hard work, and so much more before you can call yourself a mature and successful parent.
Just imagine how much harder it can get for single moms, being left alone with no one to count on. You have to work for your living, take care of your kid, and the house all by yourself. There are so many unanswered questions you need to face.
How do you survive? Can you even get back up after what you may consider as the hardest fall of your life? Whether you just came out of a stressful divorce or perhaps the father of your child decided to abandon you and leave you for good, here are some survival tips that you can pick up and remember while getting by.
How to Start Over as a Single Mom
1. Start moving forward
By this time, you have probably undergone the process of blaming yourself and feeling so bad about the split or the divorce you just went through. Whether it is really your fault or not, there is no longer a necessity to cry over spilled milk and think of what could have been. Though it is always easier said than done, as they say, it won’t hurt if you would start thinking of moving forward and leaving everything behind.
By doing this, you can then be at peace with your past and the present, too. It does not have to be a quick process because, obviously, it is not, and it will never be. Learn to give yourself the time and space that you need to think things over, and hopefully, it can enlighten you and lead you to a more positive path.
2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Though you are now on your own, this does not have to essentially mean that you no longer can ask for help from other people. Even when you no longer have a family to depend on, remember that you still have your friends and other relatives to consider as your family. More importantly, you have your kid with you, which reminds you that you are not alone and that you and your kid can still be a family if you want to.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help, especially if you start anew. This can also be a good way to rekindle your relationship with the people around you and re-establish your communication with them.
Financial stress can also be real for a single mom with no help. Luckily there are people and organizations out there that genuinely want to help.
3. Keep yourself busy
With everything that has happened, you are surely having many emotions and often on the verge of crying or breaking down. You cannot help things like this, but you can do something about it if you really want to. The best thing that you can do is to keep yourself busy – in a good way.
You can focus more on your job and try your best to do better. You can also spend more quality time with your kid and at the same time keep your bond even more alive and stronger.
Some single moms would join support groups and discussions to stay busy and positive. If you are at home, try not to sit in one corner and think about many things. You can redecorate your house, clean your bedroom, rearrange the furniture or maybe start building a greenhouse or a garden if you have space. Come up with anything useful so you can keep yourself busy and occupied.
4. Focus on your kids, but don’t forget about yourself
Now that you are a single mom with no family, you are surely planning to prioritize the welfare of your kids. You think about what you can do to make them feel safe and secure even without a dad at home. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it is good thinking. But then, make sure you do not forget about your own sake, too.
Even when you are too busy with work and other stuff, remember that you also need some alone time to enjoy and to relax. This will help you stay organized and peaceful despite all the challenges and hardships of being a single mom.
At first, you may think that being a single mom is probably the worst thing that can happen to anyone, but as days go by, you will realize that it can get better. It is not easy, but when you can get by, you will realize how rewarding and self-fulfilling it can be, especially when you start to see your kids happy and contented despite everything that has happened.
At the end of it all, you will turn out to be the strong, independent, and motivated woman that any mother would wish to be.