Last Updated on August 1, 2022 by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
It can be exhausting to have a relationship or friendship with a narcissist. Narcissists may try to project success and confidence to others but they struggle with deep inner fears. You can regain your power by understanding what makes narcissists tick, and what they fear. So, what and how to make a narcissist fear you?
- 1 What are Narcissists?
- 2 Learn all the tactics to make the narcissist fear!
- 3 These are the Top Things that make a narcissist fear:
- 4 What else can you do to make a narcissist fear you?
- 4.1 Ground them with reality and don’t succumb to their self-entitlement
- 4.2 Setting firm boundaries
- 4.3 Grab a Hold of Reality Does Make A Narcissist Fear You
- 4.4 Make Sure You Have People Around You Who Aren’t Afraid To Tell The Truth
- 4.5 Take a Mental Health Break
- 4.6 Take Legal Actions If You Have To
- 4.7 Avoid getting yourself tangled up in their control tactics and ignore them
What are Narcissists?
Narcissists are dangerous and unpredictable personalities to work with. They will often do whatever it takes to control their supply or source. Narcissists are accustomed to playing games with their source’s emotions and mind. They have zero empathy for the pain and demoralizing it causes.
Narcissists and people with Narcissistic Personality disorder (Narcissists) are dangerous mental and emotionally abusive. Some even resort to extreme physical abuse, sometimes even death. The DSM-5 classifies Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) as one syndrome. However, there is a lot of research suggesting that there are many types of narcissists.
Each type uses different routes to get to the same place. They all use mental and emotional control, but without empathy. There are some things you can do to protect yourself from a narcissist and make them afraid of you.
Learn all the tactics to make the narcissist fear!
It is vital to be aware of all the techniques a narcissist uses in trauma-bonding their victims. Gaslighting and stonewalling are common techniques used by narcissists to manipulate their victims. It is easier to build boundaries when you are able to verify that these tactics were used against you as a victim.
To regain control, it’s best to set boundaries and learn how to separate from the narcissist. It is important to avoid any contact with the narcissist. If a victim does make contact, it should be as monotonous as watching paint dry. With the goal of minimizing further destruction, this slowly but surely shuts down the supply to the predator narcissist.
Remember that narcissists can be dangerous and manipulative. Sometimes, people must act in ways that are counterintuitive to their will to escape. If a person is in a relationship, or a marriage, to a psychopath or malignant narcissist, they might have to accept the game. And then trying to figure out an exit strategy.
It is important to remember that you are a victim to serious mental and emotional abuse. If you do what is necessary to survive, it is okay. To ensure your safety and healing, keep moving towards an escape.
To heal and to cut the bonds of trauma that a narcissist has inflicted on you, it is best to avoid contact for as long as possible. If a person cuts off all communication and ties with a Narcissist, it can leave them in fear and worry. Narcissists care only about their own image. When a victim is able to leave them, they realize that they are outed. Narcissists will often try to control their victim from every angle in order to establish connection.
You can make a narcissist afraid, but you can also keep your sanity, safety and security. As you move on, you should grieve the person you wish they were, and show yourself the unconditional love you hoped they would show you.
Detachment can fear the narcissist
Narcissists fear being alone and abandonment. They will fear losing you if they don’t set clear boundaries and do not respond to their chaotic manipulations, even though it may not be something they admit to. They need fuel to survive, so if they have less, they will fear that you are in control.
Stop the Trauma Bond
Narcissists use intermittent reinforcement to be wonderful for a time and then terrible out of nowhere. This provides a hook for the narcissist. It is possible to break the trauma bond by avoiding contact.
If this is not possible, it’s easy to become distant in your interactions with them. It will let them know that you don’t feel controlled or bound by them if you show them little emotion.
Narcissist(s) Fear Confrontation With Facts
Narcissists fear being exposed for their true selves. This is a perception they project to their targets. However, you can overcome their bullseye by using more facts and less emotion. You should exercise extreme caution. If you become too defensive or emotional, they will have more power over you. If you don’t show emotion, you can state facts about why you’re distancing yourself from them. Don’t get angry or raise your voice. They will be afraid of being exposed for who they really are, and they will leave you alone.
They hate being criticized and expect that this tactic will end their relationship. This can only happen if you are willing to let them go. Besides, you must know you won’t be retaliated against. They will stop because of their fears of abandonment and having no control over other people. Or because of being exposed for who they really are will help them to live a happier, more fulfilling life.
Narcissists feel heard and validated when their egos are fed and validated. They also feel empowered over other people. Narcissists look beyond themselves in order to find the attention and grandeur they are lacking. In other words, they can feel empty of love and attention.
It is easy to make narcissists fear you if you can recognize their patterns and adjust your responses while they are present. You will improve your communication skills if you are able to observe and not react. This behavior may be subconscious. Some people don’t know why they do it, but they know that it gives them power and satisfaction. They feel superior and their needs will be met.
Stay In Your Own Power or Opinion
Taking control of your thoughts or power can make a narcissist scared of you. They will expect you to agree with them. However, you should remind them why you feel that way and ask them to back down. If they don’t, it’s okay to disagree. They don’t have to prove their point or be right.
The second layer is the ability to control people and situations. You can remove their control by working together on a project or following their opinions with one of yours, so that people feel safe to express their feelings. They will respect you if you’re confident and bold in front of them.
Before you give up parts of yourself and ideas to someone you don’t respect, it is important to know when you should leave a narcissist. Feeling ignored, not heard or seen can lead to patterns in other areas of your life.
It is said that we are all mirrors of our own selves, so being around someone who is narcissistic can help us see where we need to make improvements. We will have fewer difficult interactions if we are confident and emotionally strong.
Call them out on their behavior in front of everyone
It is often misunderstood that narcissists can be so impulsive. Narcissists have feelings, unlike their sociopaths and psychopath counterparts. They are able to feel emotions and respond in big ways. Narcissists tend to be all about themselves, but they are often insecure and fear what other people think. It is best to confront a narcissist in front of others.
Although it might sound harsh, and perhaps not in our genes to humiliate anyone in public, narcissists seek to be accepted by others, especially those they regard as more important (typically someone in a higher position or rank).
Narcissists will prey on quiet, kind, compassionate, or even nice people. They seek these people out. Then they project their insecurity upon them, attacking the strengths of others. Of course, they enjoy power over you. They love to make people who are nice feel insidious. Therefore, confronting a narcissist in public is the best way to hold them accountable. You can also use formal channels within your organization to hold them responsible.
These are the Top Things that make a narcissist fear:
- Losing control
- Humiliation, embarrassment
- Being exposed
- Not getting admiration
- Feelings of regret
The Narcissist, in reverse form, is just like any other person. However, if given power, the Narcissist can continue to cause harm and pain wherever they go. And also, to whoever they are with!
What else can you do to make a narcissist fear you?
Ground them with reality and don’t succumb to their self-entitlement
Although dealing with a narcissist is difficult, instilling fear in them only serves to reinforce their narcissistic stories. A narcissist will only fear you if they are grounded in reality and not enslaved by their self-importance.
They tend to be self-centered and overly focused on creating a creative fantasy. This can lead to them dominating interactions with fake or exaggerated stories. The trick is to counter this with facts. This will bring them back to the earthly realm, and because they can’t stop telling stories to grab attention and keep it going, you’ll be able to build a reputation as someone they should avoid to avoid embarrassment.
Narcissists love external praise to mask their inner self-loathing. They will spend their entire lives looking for flattery to get it. Your job is not to show amusement at their bravado. It is important to not give them the validation or attention they want. This will cause them to feel unsatisfied and can drive them to be more interested in you. They are often unable to understand why they don’t like someone by holding on to attention or validation.
Setting firm boundaries
Not only just setting boundaries, it’s about getting their respect.
In short, it is often not about making a narcissist fear your boundaries, but rather about getting them to respect it. Narcissists loathe boundaries. Narcissists rely on others having loose/nonexistent borders so that they can manipulate to meet their needs.
If you set clear boundaries with a narcissist, they will either leave you alone or respect your rules of engagement (especially if they have something you want). You should expect to be treated as a villain by a narcissist if they stop engaging with your relationship. This is a tactic they use to gain support for their dislike of you.
Grab a Hold of Reality Does Make A Narcissist Fear You
First, I had to learn to hold on to my grasp of reality. I am a writer so I record any exchanges with narcs. By doing so, I can tether myself into reality of what actually happened, what really was said, and who initiated it. In short, there is always a conflict they would claim to have started.
Make Sure You Have People Around You Who Aren’t Afraid To Tell The Truth
A narcissist can turn the most basic human kindnesses, such as empathy, communication, and fairness, into something impossible. Having people who can confirm the “truth” they claim is possible to maintain clarity within your own mind.
Gaslighting is one of the worst experiences you can have when dealing with a narc. To keep your sanity, it is important to have the support of healthy, normal people.
Take a Mental Health Break
If you are unable to go “no contact”, you should consider taking a mental health leave from them. Encourage them to enjoy their time away, or make space in your life for frequent and long time away. While it is true that people hurt people, that doesn’t make you a bad person.
Take Legal Actions If You Have To
If you feel the need to sue them for violating your boundaries, then do so. Narcissists can be vulnerable to their egos. Use that dynamic to your advantage if your narc wishes to be the best parent. Play into their hands until you can play yourself.
Everybody has weaknesses, insecurities and quirks. They are experts at exploiting our vulnerabilities. So, it is time for us all to learn from them.
Avoid getting yourself tangled up in their control tactics and ignore them
Because of the nature of their disorder there is no other way to get rid of them than by threatening blackmail. This will scare a narcissist who will deflect and accuse you of being the problem. You go after what they fear. Rejection is high on their list of fears, since they must be number one.
Do not get caught up in their maze of control tactics. Instead, ignore them. This has the downside that they may become obsessed with your phone and other social media. You can block them from all your social media accounts, including email and phone.