How Does Becoming a Mom Changes You?

Last Updated on January 24, 2024 by Lori Pace

Many of us can recall having frantic, late-night thoughts during pregnancy. These thoughts included questions about our decision to become a mom and have children, or whether we would still be the same person after becoming mom. Many of us may have wondered if we would still be committed to our careers after having children. Of course, being a mom and being a single mom are different. But both are all decision in life that women have to make.

A fan expressed concern for Amanda Palmer, singer and songwriter, when she was pregnant. She wondered if Palmer’s career would be affected by becoming a mother. She worried that Palmer wouldn’t be able to produce the same quality songs. She argued that “either he/she/it will suffer” or “your career will suffer” when you have this child. What was the moment I became a mother? Is there a moment that is decisive for a mother’s transformation?

When Do We Become a Mom?

Every “motherly” task you do makes you more motherly. The most beautiful moments happen in a quick succession. Your first time holding your baby. Did your baby reach out to you for a hug? Your toddler said “I love you mommy?”.

When Do We Become a Mom?
When you hold your baby, it’s a wonderful moment of love!

Send them off to school for their first day. Their eyes lit up in amazement when they saw a new discovery. Every milestone my boys achieve, each moment like this, makes me feel a little more motherly. I feel a little more fulfilled in my job. They are discovering themselves and how they fit in the world around them.

Decision to Become a Mom Changes Your Life

It’s obvious: Your priorities change after giving birth. You change.

You can have different priorities at different times in your life. A life with a baby is very different from a child-free existence. Life with teenagers is also quite different from that of a newborn. While your primary concern before having children was how to climb the corporate ladder you might now be thinking about how to be a parent and how to get off the ladder. You are not the same person as you were in your past.

Scientific American reported that nearly all female mammals experience “fundamental change” during pregnancy and post-partum. They also noted that lactation hormones and pregnancy can alter the brain’s structure, increasing the number of neurons in certain regions and decreasing the size in others. Other research found that the combination of pregnancy hormones with birth experience improves memory and learning ability.

Becoming a Mother Changes Your Priorities

When asked by a question, moms answered that they felt they had. While you are pregnant, you can think and worry about losing yourself, but once your child is here, it is impossible to worry about living, because life is happening. The joy of having a child is greater than worrying about losing your identity.

Becoming a Mother Changes Your Priorities
Your priorities are now all about your child!

Becoming a mother would also mean you’ll feel this vulnerability after becoming a mother. Every child in the news is now your child. Your fear now is that I won’t be able to provide for all my children. You’ll worry that you won’t be able to give them the best chance in life.

Your core identity did not change and you are still you. While you haven’t changed, you have grown. Your heart is larger and overflows with an untarnished and uncomplicated love for Eden. It is refreshing to look at the world through her eyes. 

Does Becoming a Mother Change Your Life for the Better?

Fetal cells can enter the mother’s body and spread throughout her body. Microchimerism is a condition where cells in your body have a different genetic background. Researchers collected samples from 26 women who were pregnant with sons, and discovered that all of them had Y chromosomes. This is solid evidence that you are not the same person after having a baby. Change can be difficult. 

Lori Pace
Lori Pace

Lori Pace is a single mother of three daughters ages 7 and under. As a working mom from home, she balances kids, work and two crazy dogs with humor and love. Follow Lori as she honestly gives tips and advice based on her own experiences as a single mom!