Last Updated on September 1, 2023 by Lori Pace
Parenting can be very isolating. Yet, we share many similar emotions and have shared experiences. And being a single mom is even more pressured, as we have mentioned so many times in many articles of single mothers.us. But is it true that being a single mother makes you depressed and angry? Do you believe yourself that these pressures are too much to handle?
These are the things I want to say so those of you who are in desperate need of a lifeline are able to hear: You are not alone. We are drowning in a society designed to keep us from looking at ourselves. We feel: Guilt, Exhaustion and Discouragement.
For many, this stress can cause a nervous system shutdown. This can be due to lack of skills (we were not taught how to manage our emotions, let alone those of our children), unmet need (the list is long and fierce), and sensory overload (which is often ignored and seldom considered). Sometimes it feels like all the odds are against us.
Tips When Being A Single Mother Makes You Depressed And Angry
Use what you have. Take what you need and transform it. Don’t worry about the rest.
Adjust your Expectations
To be a good mother, I must do it all. It may seem like that, but it does not mean it is. Sometimes it’s okay to lower your standards a little. To be an amazing mother, we don’t need to be Pinterest Mom, Vegan Mom, or Cook Home Meals Every Evening Mom. If you need a break and the TV seems like the only way to get it, or you feel the TV will take you there, then go for it. Your mental health is important and your children will be okay.
Take A Step Back When Being A Single Mother Makes You Depressed And Angry
Sometimes, there’s nowhere to run or hide. It’s not possible to take a “break”. If you are feeling desperate, it is okay to walk away. You can put your children in their safe room, such as their crib, and then take a break in any place you need – the bathroom or out front door. Turn on the music or turn on the shower to create background noise. Or, you can just take a deep breath and breathe. Even for just two minutes. So, when being a single mother makes you depressed and angry, allow your nervous system to rest before you return to your children.
Feel Free To Share Your Feelings
Sometimes you can’t step away. Either it’s unsafe to do so, or there’s not enough space. Or you may have a stage-five clinger hanging from your legs in a death grip. What can you do when being a single mother makes you depressed and angry?
Sometimes, just speaking out loudly can help you to manage your emotions. Our brainstem sends signals to our cortex, which is where logic and emotional regulation are found. Labeling and expressing emotions can help us up-regulate towards the higher brain. This allows us to better respond to what’s happening around us, rather than reacting. Your children will benefit from your ability to use “I feel” statements.
Make A Trigger Worksheet
A good defense is better than an offense. It means that you should take a few moments during a normal time to prepare for dysregulation. The Trigger Worksheet can help you identify parenting triggers and reshape your parenting goals. It also helps to reset your nervous system through a webinar and seven-step worksheet. Both are free resources.
Before becoming a mother, I enjoyed exercising. I find it difficult to find the time to go to the gym so I have learned how to incorporate movement into my day. You can squat to change the diaper of your baby, stretch before you go to the bathroom, and touch your toes prior to each meal. Generation Mindful offers MoveMindfully decks you can share with your children. It doesn’t matter what your moment is or how you move it, it’s all good. Research shows that moving your spine more is better for your nervous system.
Do A Brain Dump
Stress can build up to Mount Everest and it can be difficult to know where to begin. There are things in our control, and there are others that we don’t. Brain dumps are a way to identify stress points and distinguish between those within our control and those outside.
Write down all that is currently weighing you down mentally, emotionally, and physically. This is not a time-consuming task so don’t feel pressured. After you have completed your list, go through it and mark everything that you can control. Then, cross out anything you cannot. You will have more energy, joy, and time to make real changes in your life if you focus on the things that are within your reach.
Ask For Help And Delegate Tasks Helps When Being A Single Mother Makes You Depressed And Angry
Many of us were taught that we have to carry the burden ourselves, and that asking for help is weakness. If you were raised in a home that was unsafe to do so, or if you had the responsibility of supporting or protecting the adult children in your family, this is a sure sign.
Now, fast forward to the present and ask yourself:
- What brings you joy?
- Why being a single mother makes you depressed and angry?
- What do you want to share with others? Or, do you want to share with others?
- What would I need help with?
- What would give you a break?
It takes courage and strength to speak your truth and share it. Ask a friend, a neighbor, or anyone in your neighborhood to help you in small ways. Truth be told, our children can also delegate. Even toddlers can help with small tasks, such as putting the dishes away or setting the table. You may find that your children enjoy sharing daily tasks with you. This can transform a “to do” moment into an “get to” experience.
Make A Visual Calendar With Your Children
You may use Visual schedules to aid children in arranging and completing tasks. This saves you time and empowers your kids to participate in the process. What are your most stressful routines? To help your tasks remain consistent, predictable, manageable, and manageable, turn them into a visual calendar.
Learn To Say No
Until we can learn to say no, our yes won’t have any meaning. This article will help you set boundaries with your children if it feels difficult. It is not our job to set boundaries for others. Resentment is only possible when people are not satisfied. We create internal barriers that limit us when we don’t set boundaries.
Take A Drive
Sometimes, driving is like taking a break. It can be comforting to know that everyone is safe, secure, and within reach. You can turn on your music or look at nature, or you could just stop doing what you normally do at home. A nearby park is a great place to take your children. You can get some fresh air and let your children have fun with other kids.
Use Mantras When Being A Single Mother Makes You Depressed And Angry
Sticky notes (or have you thought about tattoo for single moms?) can be used to remind yourself of all the important things you need in one day. It’s like a little cheerleader or love note to yourself. You can coach yourself even if you don’t have the money to hire a coach. It will feel difficult if you tell yourself that it is hard. You will find a way to accomplish this if you believe you can. These 9 mantras can be used when you are feeling really frustrated or lacking patience. Generation Mindful has mantra cards that you can use with your children and yourself (includes 7 adult cards and 35 for all ages).